Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. Arrec Bardwin

    Arrec Bardwin La Araña Discoteca
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    I believe I found a video of the situation

     
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  2. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
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    Person A loves no one?
     
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  3. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    “I just hit my girlfriend and asked her where her wife at” - 2 Chainz - Eathan Edwards
     
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  4. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    It's lonely at the top.
     
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  5. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    So, client/friend (same guy) has both a wife and a fiancée?
     
  6. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Yes.
     
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  7. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    On a more "back to the thread" topic......my apprentice, for lack of a better term, accidentally texted a server instead of myself a paragraph trashing said server. So that was fun to walk into.

    : Apprentice is female before I get 50 questions
     
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  8. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Fired
     
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  9. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    pfft - I'd fire the service first. Apprentice is a ride or die - she'd help me get rid of a body if I asked.

    But seriously she did get her first write up which resulted in some waterworks.
     
  10. WillySaliba

    WillySaliba Well-Known Member
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    How far does she squirt and is there a video?
     
  11. Lip

    Lip Well-Known Member
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    And in this situation, the three of them travel together?
     
  12. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    They always do unless one of them has work or something.

    But Coachella always has a big throuple community so definitely wasn't stunned by that part, just the missing a charter to go back and get a certain outfit.
     
  13. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    I love that Eathan is in here addressing the dynamics of a throuple instead of trying to explain how someone who is legally married expects to get married again to a bunch of lawyers. That’s called staying in your lane.
     
  14. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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    Conversation 5x a month in my house

    Me: Why are you buying more of xxxx? You still have 3 boxes of it left.
    Her: Oh I forgot to delay this month’s auto refill
    Me: Why do you have a subscription for 90 days of xxxx that refills every 30 days?
    Her: Because I save 5%. Don’t worry I will delay next month’s.

    <<< 30 days later >>>

    Me: Why are you buying more of ….
     
  15. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    Ah yes, the rule against perpetual engagements.
     
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  16. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    "Honey I love you but please don't leave knives hidden in the soapy water cuz I enjoy having all my blood after washing the dishes"
     
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  17. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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  18. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Every EE post has layers it’s great
     
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  19. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    I have never said "legally" - there are a lot of different versions of marriage in the throuple community.

    Also, as electronic wes tegg and I guess at this point a lot of people on the board are aware of - I'm in about the most attorney heavy family contrivable. This is nothing new.
     
  20. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    Calm down, man. I was just making an observation.
     
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  21. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
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    Wait, did you leave MLS to start a throuple with Wes and Electronic? How did I miss this?
     
  22. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
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    Also did we have the cash turtle hunt at Easter? And if so, who won?
     
  23. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    In my dreams maybe
     
  24. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
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    Phew! The world couldn’t handle such perfection
     
  25. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Nephew - was a big upset.
     
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  26. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
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    Man the niece has really fallen off. In a couple years she’s gonna have to go coach at Slaw
     
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  27. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    this was 100% intentional. She knew she was out of gas and wanted you to deal with the problem.
     
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  28. ugafish

    ugafish Not a new member
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    Its like any cardio work out: takes time to train to increase endurance and strength, but it is achievable if you do it consistently.

    Dont give up. You got this.
     
  29. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Welp, MLS agreed to another houseguest (just for a weekend).

    "You remember we have one bathroom correct?"

    Her rebuttal was that one of our restaurants is within walking distance :bernie:
     
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  30. gilstein21

    gilstein21 Tight Rip 26 Seal Right
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    Is the original houseguest still there?
     
  31. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    No she got her own place about a month ago. This brings us back to 4.
     
  32. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
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    Well that seems very practical.
     
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  33. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    He violated rule #1: never fall for the throuple throupies.
     
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  34. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    One bathroom what the fuck yall are sick
     
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  35. BWC

    BWC It was the BOAT times, it was the WOAT times
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    Might be the most unbelievable thing EE has said
     
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  36. Lip

    Lip Well-Known Member
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    at least one bathroom per resident is a strict requirement of mine
     
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  37. NoNatty

    NoNatty Keyboard Cowboy
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    I have a family of 5 :ohdear:
     
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  38. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
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    Better get some 5 gal buckets
     
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  39. Lip

    Lip Well-Known Member
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    good thing you bought a lot of land

    plenty of room to dig some holes
     
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  40. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    My god damn wife just sold me down the river. My oldest kid brought home a broccoli plant from daycare in a plastic cup that sprouted but ultimately died like two weeks ago. Today my kid noticed it was gone and got upset, my wife told her I went and planted it outside in the woods. Now I’m supposed to go show my kid where I “planted” it. Praying she just forgets.
     
  41. bwi2

    bwi2 Not affiliated with BWI
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    too bad your wife lost the map to find it
     
  42. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    1. Get a crown and bury the stem in the woods
    2. Show her how big it got
    3. Tell her it's time for it to feed the wildlife, never to be seen again
     
  43. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    IMG_0488.jpeg
     
  44. One Two

    One Two Hot Dog Vibes
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    Have you considered a career in landscape architecture?
     
  45. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    I’ve always enjoyed a good trimmed bush
     
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  46. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    After asking about her broccoli plant for like 48 hours, she walked outside and said “wow that’s big! Can I go watch bluey?”
     
  47. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    You should’ve shown her a massive oak tree.
     
  48. The Blackfish

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    Why do you think double RL got into the business
     
  49. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    And this was the story of how my oldest gave up the pacifier
     
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  50. Killy Me Please

    Killy Me Please I lift things up and put people down.
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    I think I've said this before I mean I've complained about it before. I don't understand the point of allowing my fiance to have a cell phone. It's in her hand 24/7 and she has no idea how to use any utility It has. It's purely for social media. Her cycle app. And shitty games my kids DL.

    She has this innate ability while holding a small supercomputer, that's hooked up to the internet by the way, in her hands and Still finds the need to ask me where some bumble fuck town is as if not only will I know where it is but as if she'll remember or have a clue what I'm talking about if I manage to know where that town is. All the work Google maps has done they have failed to market to this woman their capabilities. She refuses to just click on the fucking hyperlink to the invitation she has. No she has to ask me while my head is on a swivel trying to find an address driving around in a complex looking for a restaurant. I swear I promise you even if I tell her I'm not lying to you she will not remember she's not going to have a clue what I'm talking about. she barely knows the county she has lived in her entire life. Let alone how to take different routes to get to our goddamn house. So I ask her why do I need to tell you this why. It's just like talking for talking sake. You're not absorbing any of this information. Just Google it look it up and you'll figure this out and you'll be find something relatable to that location.
     
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