Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. Menelaus

    Menelaus The Red-Haired King
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    @blazin rebel
     
  2. soulfly

    soulfly Well-Known Member
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    That would need to be like a two week excursion at the rate my guy was operating at.
     
    -Asshole- and Clown Baby like this.
  3. Menelaus

    Menelaus The Red-Haired King
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    No one loved fucking more than that guy, and for that, he has my respect.

    Remember when he got himself kidnapped? :laugh:
     
  4. BayouMafia

    BayouMafia Thought Leader in Posting
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    being young was the best

    A dozen times in a weekend would kill me now
     
  5. soulfly

    soulfly Well-Known Member
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    Wasn’t his whole thing that he would last like 4 hours at a time? Ridiculous.
     
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  6. football501

    football501 I once ate a Twix with the wrapper on it
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    The "personification of man" or some nonsense phrase like that
     
  7. Jigga

    Jigga Ty Webb is a mean person
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    A dozen times? You mean 2 years
     
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  8. Biff Bridges

    Biff Bridges The words. You are good with the words man
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    Which island? My wife and I are going there on my company's dime next week.
     
  9. Cornfed Buffalo

    Cornfed Buffalo What's a Narduzzi?
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    BIG 8 PARTNER SWAP INCOMING
     
  10. CUgator

    CUgator Well-Known Member
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    Maui and Oahu
     
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  11. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    I think that's two
     
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  12. CUgator

    CUgator Well-Known Member
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    math checks out
     
  13. COVIDiskilingme79

    COVIDiskilingme79 Well-Known Member
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    You should see some of the stuff people flush on airplanes. It's like they think there's a full sewage system on these pressurized soda cans we launch into the sky.
     
  14. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    They don't think
     
  15. Biff Bridges

    Biff Bridges The words. You are good with the words man
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    We’re going to Kauai. First time in Hawaii.
     
  16. pianoman

    pianoman my drinks are free
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    Jealous, I love Kauai.
     
  17. Lip

    Lip Well-Known Member
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    She is, but that’s because of her massive dumps
     
    Name P. Redacted, ARCO, NP13 and 3 others like this.
  18. goheels10

    goheels10 Well-Known Member
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    I’m m heading out the door this morning and my wife has the day off. She stops me and says…

    Her: do you mind taking my car today and dropping it off at the shop for inspection
    Me: sure

    get in the car and immediately get an alert about no gas and have a max range of 5 miles. Closest gas station is 13 miles away.

    no, this is not a repost. This happens way too frequently.
     
  19. soulfly

    soulfly Well-Known Member
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    Man. I get nervous when my 50 mile light comes on. No idea how people live like this.
     
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  20. goheels10

    goheels10 Well-Known Member
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    I keep a 5 gallon gas can tucked away in my garage for this exact reason.
     
  21. Hank Scorpio

    Hank Scorpio Globex Corporation, Philanthropist, Supervillain
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    Really hoping to go there next time we trek out to Hawaii. Unfortunately, we're only ever going out there to visit my wife's family that are split between Oahu and the big island, so scheduling/budgeting for a 3rd island is probably not going to be in the cards unless one of the local family members insists on gathering there.
     
  22. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    A dozen in a weekend - who is this animal?
     
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  23. Festus McBadass

    Festus McBadass Cool ass dog and 5 star recruit
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    He didn’t say they were used condoms.
     
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  24. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    One of my friend's wives ended up making him miss his flight because his fiance went back to grab an outfit (for Coachella so it makes a little more sense) from the house before they took off.

    That's gotta be a fun one to discuss on the plane.
     
    dump likes this.
  25. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    Wife and fiancé? I’m so confused.
     
  26. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    If it wasn't Eathan Edwards I would be too
     
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  27. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    I read that like 5 times trying to figure it out.
     
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  28. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
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    Yeah I was like 50/50 between poorly constructed post and completely accurate post as is, given the poster.
     
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  29. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    I had to stay behind and catch a flight the next day with our luggage because my wife insisted on eating at her fav restaurant before we returned home. My ~2 year old kid screamed bloody murder through the security line because I wasn’t there.

    I was in the wrong though because I didn’t make it clear how close we were on time.

    I just got to spend another night with GoodForAnother tho
     
    #20229 Name P. Redacted, Apr 10, 2024
    Last edited: Apr 10, 2024
    CF3234, blind dog, soulfly and 11 others like this.
  30. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    I was in Orlando for work with one of my former partners (a vegan) and she insisted that we eat at some vegan restaurant in Winter Park before we left. We had like two and a half hours, and lunch took nearly two. I got to the gate as they were closing it. She had to check her bag for a two day business trip, so she missed the flight.
     
  31. WillySaliba

    WillySaliba Well-Known Member
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    And you were probably still hungry.
     
    Fuck this, dump, ARCO and 4 others like this.
  32. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Yea, but he was headed home and she wasn't
     
  33. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    IMG_0325.jpeg
     
  34. ono

    ono Well-Known Member
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    Fucking love Dos Reales cheese dip, seems worth it IMO.
     
    Name P. Redacted likes this.
  35. ono

    ono Well-Known Member
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    I went to college with a guy who got a handy but insisted on wearing a condom during it. I don't think he ever mentioned his sex life to us again after the roasting he got. He's also fairly religious so who knows what the thought process was.
     
    Gonff, Tobias, blind dog and 10 others like this.
  36. Jimmy the Saint

    Jimmy the Saint The future is a benevolent black hole
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    Can't risk getting the hand pregnant out of wedlock.
     
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  37. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    Worried about getting an STD from that stigmata handy.
     
  38. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
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    My Mormon roommate freshman year believed it was totally fine to have sex as long as he kept his boxers on and only pulled his dock (no balls very adamant about this) through the hole up front.
     
  39. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    Maybe he had one of those conditions that gives you monster loads. Shame on you for not following up
     
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  40. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    It was a client, wife and fiance. I don't know the exact amount of time but it was around 3-5 hours they got delayed because there were literally no planes that were available.

    Coachella shuts down the airport apparently.
     
  41. Lip

    Lip Well-Known Member
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    thanks for this very clear clarification
     
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  42. electronic

    electronic It’s satire!
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    Are you an Oxford comma fella or no?
     
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  43. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    I am no less confused. How many people are we talking about here? Can we get a diagram or something?
     
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  44. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    Because I’m reading that as your friend having a wife (female) and a fiancé (male).
     
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  45. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    [​IMG]
     
  46. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    I laughed, but I still don’t get it.
     
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  47. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    I'll be honest, I couldn't find a perfect diagram for the situation. That was the best they had.

    It's a female fiance, fwiw.
     
    One Two likes this.
  48. Tug

    Tug Well-Known Member
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    The confusion here is Fiance (male) versus fiancée (female)
     
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  49. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    THAT’S the confusion?
     
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  50. Capstone 88

    Capstone 88 Going hard in the paint
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    Who’s on first?
     
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