Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    I think he's referring to throwing them in the trash.

    Doesn't matter where he's from
     
  2. Fuck this

    Fuck this Oh Hey
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    if your in Orlando again and happen to go to Mt Dora. Real deal arepas there. Place is called “Melo” guy is Colombian as hell but his food is unreal
     
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  3. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    "I have to go to Hawaii today and don't have outfits set can you take a look at these?"

    Yea, I'm gonna look at them but this is fucking absurd.

    To elaborate this is a fashion show scenario where there is no win - honesty doesn't serve you well.
     
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  4. Festus McBadass

    Festus McBadass Cool ass dog and 5 star recruit
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    We are going down the week of Memorial Day. I’ll have to check it out. My wife is already planning on bringing home another year supply of arepas.
     
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  5. CoastalOrange

    CoastalOrange Well-Known Member
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    Absolutely loved the street arepas con juevos with the different sauces in Cartagena.
     
  6. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
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    You would think I would innately know this but it took me a few years of marriage to learn that I needed to emphatically love every outfit no matter what. Has saved me a lot of trouble. It helps I do really love my wife's style. But I make no attempts at objective judgement.
     
  7. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    fucking lucky.

    Every time I get asked.

    Mrs.-How does this dress look on me?

    Me- You look great

    Mrs- It makes my arms look fat. I hate it.

    Me- No it doesn't.

    Mrs- (spends the next 90 minutes trying on every dress in her closet making us late to wherever we are going only to end up back in the same dress she originally tried on and "hated")
     
  8. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
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    Yeah it doesn't matter what we say, how we say it, etc. Usually, I get asked about one outfit which I say looks great. Then it turns into well what about between the first one and this one? Still, stick with the first to instill confidence. Odds are she comes down wearing a third completely different outfit.
     
  9. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    The reality is that it's all a game to be late because they don't really want to go wherever it is we are going that day. You can't give your wife shit for taking too long when she is having a crisis of self confidence because then you are automatically the asshole.

    Oh and when they inevitably have a great time at whatever the event is...
     
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  10. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
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    Also, girls don't get ready for us, they get ready for other girls. They know we don't care, nor have any idea what is in, or how things should look. It'd be like if I gave her two players and asked who I should pick first in my fantasy league. She'd say Player A to get me to shutup and then I'd argue why I should pick Player B and she wonders why I asked in the first place.
     
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  11. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    asterisk for concerts where there's an overlap of impressing/making other women jealous and trying to get attention from other concertgoers.
     
  12. Lip

    Lip Well-Known Member
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    women*
     
  13. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
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    If she asks for my opinion between two outfits or pairs of shoes or whatever I always just answer honestly and pick one. She appreciates that a million times more than me saying “both look great!”

    then she immediately disregards my opinion and goes with whichever one she wanted in the first place.
     
  14. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
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    In my 10 year relationship with my wife I have only given negative feedback on an outfit once. It was a sweater or something with a bunch of hairs sticking out that looked like the hair on an ostrich's head. It's been known as the infamous ostrich sweater ever since.

    I feel like once a decade isn't too bad of a rate.
     
  15. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    two completely different situations imo.
     
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  16. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
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    Totally. you got to make the pick.
     
  17. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
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    My wife just checked with me to confirm who the prime minister of the country is. She had it right at least.
     
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  18. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    How's ol' Tony Blair doing?
     
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  19. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
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    Liz Truss is the GOAT
     
  20. CUgator

    CUgator Well-Known Member
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    It’s me, again.

    Our house was built the 70s. Recently our master shower has been getting clogged and toilet in the master has been flushing funny. Called the plumber out. He said he ran the snake 30 ft and got hair and leaves. I take a shower and the problem is still there, so I call him back.

    He gets the big guns out and it sounds like he’s going to war with the plumbing upstairs. He comes down. “Found the problem. You should see this”. Go upstairs, and he pulled out over a dozen tampons from the plumbing.

    I ask my wife about this. She acts completely shocked that you aren’t supposed to put them down the toilet, and admits she’s been doing this the entire 8 years we’ve lived in the house.

    Mind. Blown.
     
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  21. Wywan Bwowna

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    Where did the leaves come from? You have people wiping with leaves and flushing them or something? If not, you may have more issues than just the tampons.
     
  22. CUgator

    CUgator Well-Known Member
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    Poor composition in my rant. He got a bunch of hair, thought he solved the problem, and left.
     
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  23. One Two

    One Two Hot Dog Vibes
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    Plumbing exhaust vent might need a new cap but I’m going to pretend they use them to wipe
     
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  24. One Two

    One Two Hot Dog Vibes
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    Booo!
     
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  25. CUgator

    CUgator Well-Known Member
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    Her parents are also currently re piping the house she grew up in. Might have a contributing factor as to why? Likely not, but won’t stop me from making the joke and being called an ass hole.
     
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  26. Festus McBadass

    Festus McBadass Cool ass dog and 5 star recruit
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    It’ll be funny until they ask you to pay for it.
     
  27. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Your wife rules
     
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  28. NoNatty

    NoNatty Keyboard Cowboy
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    :laugh::laugh::laugh:
     
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  29. CUgator

    CUgator Well-Known Member
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    As many contributions as she gets in this thread, she does. Total bad ass. She’s a great wife, mom and person. Doesn’t hurt that she makes a ton of money and is attractive.

    Her moments lacking common sense and driving abilities, or lack thereof can just be something else though.
     
  30. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Ok Mr I-love-my-wife enough of that
     
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  31. CUgator

    CUgator Well-Known Member
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    Her hard work is sending us to Hawaii next week for 10 days on the company dime. She’s on my good list at the moment.
     
  32. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
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    ENOUGH OKAY
     
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  33. NP13

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    Hopefully she works from home, or she's probably destroying her company's plumbing too.
     
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  34. CUgator

    CUgator Well-Known Member
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    Didn't think about that. Her lease expires in a year and she's going to need to find a bigger space, but that place is older than our house. I hope her 5 female employees have more common sense than she does.
     
  35. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    I need to know what else she flushes. You know it can't be limited to something that looks like a mini corndog
     
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  36. MORBO!

    MORBO! Hello, Tiny Man. I WILL DESTROY YOU!!!!
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    The advertisements for my toilet said that it could flush 64 golf balls. How much is that in tampons?
     
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  37. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Imagining how good it would feel after emptying that amount of volume
     
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  38. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
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    my wife grew up flushing tamps. Took a $250 clean out fee from the plumber in our first house to convince her to stop.
     
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  39. BayouMafia

    BayouMafia Thought Leader in Posting
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    when we first got married we lived in a 2 story townhouse and rented an extra bedroom to one of my wife's friends. She flushed one too many tampons in her upstairs toilet, and coupled with a faulty overflow valve we were awakened in the middle of the night by our neighbor pounding on our door because he was getting water on his side. I remember waking up to answer the door and stepping on soaked carpet, and then seeing water pouring from the ceiling in numerous places as I made my way down the stairs.

    Made out like a bandit on the renter's insurance settlement though...
     
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  40. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    A friend from college went to his then girlfriend’s parents’ lake house for a weekend and completely destroyed their septic system by flushing a dozen condoms.
     
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  41. One Two

    One Two Hot Dog Vibes
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    This is why I’m a big proponent of pulling out.
     
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  42. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    That’s for quitters son
     
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  43. shawnoc

    shawnoc My president is black, my logos are red...
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    Does nobody have a garbage can in their bathroom?
     
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  44. soulfly

    soulfly Well-Known Member
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    That’s what the toilet is for! They should just put a garbage disposal in these bad boys.
     
  45. One Two

    One Two Hot Dog Vibes
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    Showers too

    263B0DED-2DDA-471E-8ADD-D0D78D71BAB3.gif

    EE74DE27-B0E5-40B6-B2D6-FC71014398E1.gif
     
  46. soulfly

    soulfly Well-Known Member
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    Lmao. Couldn’t even imagine having to be like “sorry I wrecked your shit by having so much sex with your daughter. My B.”
     
  47. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
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    That's where the used toilet paper goes.
     
  48. NP13

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    at work, we had some woman that would flush pads. i don't know who it was, but i have a good guess.
     
  49. goheels10

    goheels10 Well-Known Member
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    not a wife story but on the same topic.... a friend of mine manages a building that gets a decent amount of foot traffic from parents and young kids. they have signage telling you what NOT to flush everywhere. You see the signs when you walk into the bathrooms, right beside the toilets, and even on the toilet seats themselves. No feminine products, no baby wipes, no diapers, etc.

    5 times in the last 6 months plumbers have been pulling diapers out of their plumbing. People flushing whole diapers... what the flying fuck. I have so many questions.... do they do this at home? Just in public? What else do you flush?
     
  50. One Two

    One Two Hot Dog Vibes
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    I lived in a 4 bedroom condo unit. Between the four of us it was three dudes and one chick. One day my sewage started backing up and so was every else’s. Turns out we all shared one main line out and the lone chick fucked everyone’s plumbing by flushing her tampons. The plumber even made a comment to me about not sure how someone could go through so many tampons.She moved out not long after that.