Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

What kind of pants did you rent?

 

I’m surprised Applebees allowed you to be seated

 

Wife made the kids 4 hot dogs last week. They come in 2 sealed packs of 4. Instead of throwing away that empty pack, she put it with the sealed, ensuring that hot dog juice would spill on the next unfortunate being to grab it.

Got fucking booby trapped

 

Yikes, not using the leftover hot dog juice as a condiment on the cooked dogs is embarrassing

 

I know you are a bit of a celebrity amongst the BBQ contingent here, but that won't stop me from being impressed every time I witness your magic

 

Have you tried cooking your spaghetti noodles in hot dog water? Paired with a nice bolognese I don’t know if it could be topped.

 

For some reason my wife thought it would be a good idea to load her credit card into my 15 year olds iPhone and not monitor it. Fortunately I get alerts and was able to stop it at 10 charges to uber for delivery of all kinds of food and bullshit from Target.

 

food just for the kid or were you treating all of their friends too?

 

It was $500 worth of charges so guessing not just for him

 

very generous!

 

nice touch blaming the Target charge on the kid

 

At least it wasn’t fortnight skins

 

Unreal

 

Hearing “V-Bucks” shouted from my youngest kids room puts me in a primal spot where I’m sure I could beat up, not one, but two (2!) urban coyotes.

 

Naivete of your wife aside I'd expect a 15 year old to know that ordering $500 of stuff without prior approval probably isn't going to fly.

 

It’s Fortnite, bub. Get it right!

 

Right. However she can’t plead ignorance because she made the same mistake with my oldest a few years ago.

 

On "awesome stuff my wife does" she's falling on a grenade for me this weekend. Her sister is having a "silent disco" at her house and my wife told her that she'd make an appearance but she's not sure I can come because I have my reserve weekend this weekend so I have to be up early.

 

what is a silent disco?

Edti- i just googled it, Jesus Christ

 

Not all heroes wear capes unless they’re dressed up for roller derby

 

apparently hot take: I like silent disco. I like going to a club and dancing but I also like not having to yell if I want to talk to someone

 

I'm with you, I've been to a few of them and have always had a lot of fun.

 

they are fun on cruise ships or other resort type atmospheres, but IDK about doing one with your friends.

 

It's probably different than I imagine it in my head, but I just imagine standing there seeing a bunch of people dancing in silence and getting weirded out.

 

exactly, I would not mind too much in a bar with randoms but seems weird in a party with your sil

 

and then put your headphones on

 

I always assumed bars that had these provided headphones
Do you like bring your own or something?

 

Has anyone been to a Silent Disco Height Party yet?

 

Depends on the venue. Some will give you headphones that you return at the end. Others have a shared spotify or whatever and you bring your own

 

i hope they clean these headphones really well, I am not In the business of getting the new sexual disco disease through my ears