Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    I was actually quoting the Jim Gaffigan bit about how awkward it is to carry around a family pack of TP. But I do agree that women go through a lot more than men.
     
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  2. Fecta23

    Fecta23 Well-Known Member
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    So I bought this new brand of ketchup, and its really good ( Redduck spicy, its fire) and a couple times yesterday I mentioned how good that ketchup was. I even posted a pic on Instagram. So at about 9:30 last night I was on the couch and my picture got a like, which reminded me how good that ketchup was.

    Me: Man, that ketchup is so good. Makes me want to buy more things to put ketchup on.
    Her( not in a joking tone): I wish you got this excited about anything to do with me.

    She then proceeds to stomp off, close the door to our room and go to bed without talking to me.

    Almost impressive she could turn me liking ketchup into neglecting her.
     
  3. Manny

    Manny I love Lip

    Buy a new girl
    Put the ketchup on her
    Win win
     
  4. boone

    boone Destination Unknown
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    are you married?
     
  5. Fecta23

    Fecta23 Well-Known Member
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    Not married. Been together 4 years.
     
  6. boone

    boone Destination Unknown
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    Gotcha. This is typical chick behavior.
     
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  7. Fecta23

    Fecta23 Well-Known Member
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    Well aware, ive had two serious GF's before the current and this is classic, yet still crazy behavior. Makes me crazy and sometimes makes me feel like I cant live with it, but then I realize that every girl on the planet is like this and I will just have to deal with it, turn gay or live alone.
     
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  8. boone

    boone Destination Unknown
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    you will make a superb husband.
     
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  9. Imurhuckleberry

    Imurhuckleberry Avid spectator of windmill warriors
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    Sounds like she was inviting you for a tasty/messy/more than slightly uncomfortable evening imo
     
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  10. milquetoast

    milquetoast Firm Security
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    Some might prefer mustard, too
     
  11. Blu Tang Clan

    Blu Tang Clan Sorry for partying
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    The bolded ain't bad, though it costs more.
     
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  12. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    How's it cost more to live alone?
     
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  13. Fecta23

    Fecta23 Well-Known Member
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    One person paying for cable, rent, etc.
     
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  14. Blu Tang Clan

    Blu Tang Clan Sorry for partying
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    Rent split for two is less than rent paid by one. Two-bedroom apartments generally cost less per person than one-bedrooms of a similar class. Plus utilities and other costs.
     
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  15. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    Still the same price though.
     
  16. brolift

    brolift 2sweet
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    If you have one apple cut it in half and now you have two apples.
     
  17. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    It's still one apple.
     
  18. Capstone 88

    Capstone 88 Going hard in the paint
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    Jesus H
     
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  19. Blu Tang Clan

    Blu Tang Clan Sorry for partying
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    Run several laps.
     
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  20. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    I get it, being single means rent is a higher % of one's available funds. However, the cost of a two-bedroom apartment is the same rather one is single or living with others, at the end of the month you still have to pay off $1000 for rent or whatever the cost is.

    And splitting an apple in half doesn't give you two fucking apples. It's still one whole apple, it didn't all of a sudden clone itself to become two whole apples.
     
  21. Arrec Bardwin

    Arrec Bardwin La Araña Discoteca
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    Shu? Is that you, Shu?
     
  22. brolift

    brolift 2sweet
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    Wrong. Two apples
     
  23. Blu Tang Clan

    Blu Tang Clan Sorry for partying
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    Stop.
     
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  24. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    Yeah, but it's two people splitting the rent, each paying $500.

    That's the joke you nincompoop.
     
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  25. Gambler

    Gambler Hog Fan
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    So if I'm really hungry, I should cut a pizza into 10 pieces instead of 8?
     
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  26. brolift

    brolift 2sweet
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    You should eat a salad and a protein shake.
     
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  27. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    You should eat butt lmbo
     
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  28. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    Or juice cleanse like dblplay1212
     
  29. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    lol, thinking having a woman is cheaper ..... obviously anyone who thinks that is not married and has no kids (or is married to someone who makes more money than they do)
     
  30. -Asshole-

    -Asshole- TMB OG Reject
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    Exactly what I was thinking.
     
  31. Arkadin

    Arkadin inefficiently efficent and unclearly clear
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    :laugh: Jesus christ
     
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  32. Blu Tang Clan

    Blu Tang Clan Sorry for partying
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    Hey, I didn't say anything about kids.
     
  33. TDCD

    TDCD Handling the Fisher account
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    I don't follow, can you explain both of these in more detail please
     
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  34. ohhaithur

    ohhaithur e-Batman
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    Doesn't it depend on if it's a Golden Delicious or a Red Delicious?
     
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  35. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    Both sides are delicious tho
     
  36. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    Put ketchup on her b-hole and eat that booty like groceries

    Now everyone's happy
     
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  37. BubbleHead

    BubbleHead Well-Known Member
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    Pretty sure he said it's a spicy ketchup. Don't think she'd be all that happy.
     
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  38. Kevintensity

    Kevintensity Poster/Posting Game Coordinator
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  39. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    You heartless bastard.

    Looking forward to the follow-up post when she reveals the perceived microaggression that set her off
     
  40. Baron

    Baron Well-Known Member
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    [​IMG]
     
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  41. TimJimothy

    TimJimothy Well-Known Member
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    Did everybody else just overlook the fact that this guy posted a picture of ketchup on Instagram?
     
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  42. lhprop1

    lhprop1 Fullsterkur
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    Shu is saving a seat for you at the roulette table.
     
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  43. Fecta23

    Fecta23 Well-Known Member
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    Thats probably the least dumb shit I post on the gram.
     
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  44. OHW

    OHW Well-Known Member
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    Good job not following her. That was a classic bait and switch. She wanted to argue about something else, you pry would've been up all night.
     
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  45. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    the bait and switch is easily the thing I hate most about women. It is amazing how they can segue from talking about how a co-worker pissed them off to mad at you because you said something she thought was rude to her 6 weeks ago is mind boggling
     
  46. OHW

    OHW Well-Known Member
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    You gotta hand it to them, it's a great move. They set you up thinking they're going right, out of nowhere they go left. Now you're playing catch up and they're unloading everything they got.
     
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  47. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    And I take the cheese every time thinking I might just win this argument, there is no winning. It's kind of like playing NCAA against someone who quits before the end.
     
  48. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    the best is when they flawlessly pull it off after they are the ones who have fucked up and done something stupid
     
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  49. Fecta23

    Fecta23 Well-Known Member
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    Exactly why I didn't engage. I can't be starting fights right before bed.
     
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  50. football501

    football501 I once ate a Twix with the wrapper on it
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    When they're right they stay on message, and never leave that message. But when they're wrong, they go rogue.