Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Cuck ass beta...oh, wait...

 

i officially declare this tangent dead and anyone that takes it any further is stupid

 

HERE HERE

 

In lieu of taking my wife's name i instead changed mine to Sissy Boy Wunder-Faggot.

Its a bold move, but cant wait to get my new business cards.

 

god dammit people, did you not see what a.tramp said?

 

no, you fuck off kindly

 

I was mocking the whole topic in general.
Sort of hoping my shitty post killed the subject.

 

my wife doesn't trust the rear view mirror....just keeps going until she bumps into something..

The back up camera is sweet for hooking up a trailer. Tried to show my dad that about 100 times, but he insists on doing the guessing way.

 

Wife wants her hamburger medium but bloody steak is gross so med well.

 

I've got the opposite at my house. Wife will eat a steak medium rare but wants hamburgers well done. I don't get it.

 

When it's that time of the month my wife wants meat near rare. The rest of the month, medium well is undercooked.

 

Steak is a higher quality meat. I prefer the same on steak, medium or medium-well for burgers.

 

Bacteria doesn't thrive as well in a whole muscle compared to ground beef. It's safer to eat a steak at a lower temp than ground beef

 

Yea, I understand that you want to cook hamburger meat to a high temperature for bacteria purposes, but that's using logic. The bff just thinks it looks more yucky with hamburger being bloody.

 

That is the weirdest fucking thing I've ever heard.

 

My girlfriend had an issue fixing a challenging gourmet meal for herself (Easy Mac) due to forgetting a difficult ingredient (water). Smoked out the apartment and her microwaves now on the back porch.

 

I read this as if it were Rovell tweeting at McDonalds

 

To the op, TMB guru and Lieutenant Major and such: which wife and or which girlfriend ?

 

Sounds like a bloody problem mate.

 

Spoiler: I am Rovell

 

Yeah I didn't think he had a wife either

 

she literally put uncooked noodles + cheese powder in the microwave? goodness

 

i've done the same thing before, luckily i was standing right there when the noodles ignited, so it didn't get that bad.

 

this sounds like stupid shit my 4 year old does

 

My favorite quality of my wife is that she's extremely intelligent (full academic scholarship, masters degree, etc.) but sometimes she belongs itt.

Me: A few of the guys are taking a two day trip to Vegas for some gambling.
Her: Is that two or three hours behind? (Note: we live in Houston)
Me: 3 hours?
Her: It's probably only 2, since San Francisco is 3 hours behind.
Me: Wait what?
Her: Eastern, Central, Mountain, Desert, Pacific!

Guys, jetlag just got even tougher.

 

That is it?

You did well marrying her. Thumbs up

 

Well I mean Arizona doesn't do Day Light Savings so I could see the confusion

 

It's just Mountain Standard year-round.

 

Maybe she meant Deseret.

 

Am I missing something here? It is only two hours behind central time

 

the desert time zone

 

Ok, so she made up a time zone. That is dumb

This is the part I was confused about

 

he was questioning where she came up with 3 hours to even have it as an option

 

That makes sense, apparently I read it wrong

 

did she ask "if he's the plumber, who's the plumbest?"

 

Just got a phone call

Her: "I can't find my car"
Me: "Where are you?"
Her: "Walmart"
Me: "Well which door did you park in front of?"
Her: "If I knew that, I wouldn't be calling you"
Me: "How does calling me help you find your car?"
Her: "Moral support"
Me: "Are you sure you parked it at that Walmart?"
Her: "I hate you. Bye."

I hope she brings me home something to eat.

 

"Moral support"

Bitch, I didn't lose your car!

 

She brought me Chickfila :D

 

She doesn't like Star Wars

 

I get a phone call today at work, with my wife saying that she's on the way to the ER with our daughter.

Okay neat.

I get there to find out that a coat rack she had for her room got caught in her eyelid. What the fuck. She was rearranging our daughters room and left the rack somewhere where my daughter could reach it. If I could of strangled her with my deathstare, I would of. Fortunately my child will be okay.

 

How old is daughter?

 

16 months