Last night, I made fish sticks for the kids. Kid number one used all of his tartar sauce, but still had 1 fish stick left. He asked for more tartar sauce and I told him to dip it in kid number 2's tartar sauce. He protested, so my wife went to get him more tartar sauce. Me (to kids): "You wouldn't be asking for more tartar sauce if you'd lived through the great tartar sauce shortage of '92. People were lined up outside the store for blocks, just hoping to get one bottle of tartar sauce to last them for the month." Wife: "I don't remember that. My parents didn't make us fish sticks very often and I would have been kind of young at the time. That must have been really horrible. Wait. Did that really happen?" Me:
And she won first place as Lyrtch predicted. Dodged the Adrian Peterson debacle and got Leveon Bell in his place. Netted $700. She has been smug as shit.
Just more proof that fantasy football is a game of chance and not in any way skill or knowledge based.
at the end of every year I always hate fantasy football and swear it off...right up until the next draft day.
I had a friend insist that it was all skill and that he was great at blah blah blah beat him in the playoffs with a team i picked almost entirely at random/ suggested by yahoo. The only people who could really win at FF consistently are the statisticians making millions off of suckers every week in draft kings.
the perfect example of this is Dan Lebatard winning his show league with a team that was auto drafted and then never changed from week 1 through the end of the season
In the league I was in at work I finished either first or 2nd for all 5 years until they put in rules that prevented me from taking such heavy advantage of the waiver wire because people were bitching about it. I just quit after that, like fuck them, not my fault they aren't as good as me at it. 3 out of 5 years my first round draft pick either ended up being very underwhelming or got hurt and missed most of the year.
There were none. We were all able to pick up and release players at will. I was just better and quicker at it than everyone else. People were bitching they never had the chance to get the top guys off the waiver because I was too quick.
I don't blame them either, except the guy bitching the most was the one that beat me in the championship game after his three best players came off the waiver. Like WTF are you bitching about? You do the same shit.
And now people in the league are bitching because they don't have enough money to bid on guys on the waiver. I'm convinced they are just bitching because most of them aren't good enough to ever manage a team to a championship so they will just bitch and bitch until the rules are made easy enough for them.
I'd say a lot of fantasy football is luck, but also participation. Reading up on players/teams, playing matchups, waiver wire pickups, etc - all important. Can't get lucky 100% of the time, but the first round pick going down is rough (as an AP owner this year I know this all too well).
this one time my fantasy game came down to the monday night game, like woah crazy right, i had aaron rogers and dikembe mutombo but they had michael jordan it was going to be intense but after a missed shot on goal that aaron rogers returned for a wicked googly i won by .25 points but as everyone knows a wicked googly is worth 5 pts in traditional scoring but my league does something weird and counts it as 4 because we think they're ovavalued
Telling people about your fantasy league or team is a lot like telling people about dreams you have had. Yea, it's interesting to you, but no one else gives a fuck
Me: So did you learn your lesson today? Mrs: What do you mean? Me: To slow down and not follow so closely Mrs: I wasn't driving fast or following too closely Me:
You should have kept going with it. It was during the Minneapolis tartar drought of 1992. I still had a sauce connection. Which was insane, 'cause people couldn't get tartar any fuckin where then. Anyway, I had a connection with this hippie chick up in St. Paul and all my friends knew it. And they'd give me a call and say, ""Hey, DUDE, you gettin' some, you think you could get me some too?" They knew I sauced, so they'd ask me to buy a little for them when I was buying for myself. But it got to be......got to be that every time I bought some tartar, I was buyin for four or five different people. Finally I said, "Fuck this shit." I'm makin this bitch rich. She didn't have to do jack shit, she never even had to meet these people. I was doin' all the work....then that got to be a pain in the ass. People called me on the phone all the fuckin time. I couldn't rent a fuckin tape without six fucking phone calls interrupting me. "Hey, when's the next time you're gettin some?" "Motherfucker, I'm tryin to watch 'The Lost Boys'-- when I have some, I'll let you know." And then these rinky-dink tartar heads come by--there's my friends and everything, but still, y'know. I got all my shit laid out in sixty dollar bottles. They don't want sixty dollars worth. They want ten dollars worth. Breaking it up is a major fuckin pain in the ass. You ever try to pour tartar sauce? I don't even know what ten dollars of tartar looks like. Now this was a very weird situation, 'cause I don't know if you remember back in '92, there was a major fuckin drought. Nobody had anything. People were livin off of spoiled miracle whip mixed with chutney for months. And this chick had a bunch, and she was beggin me to sell it. So I told her I wasn't gonna be Joe the Tartar Man anymore. But I would take a little bit and sell it to my close, close, close friends. She agreed to that, and said we'd keep the same arrangement as before, ten percent and free sauce for me, as long as I helped her out that weekend.
I came home today to a gigantic box waiting for me today. Humongous. I was pretty excited because I was waiting on a gift that was supposed to arrive this week. When I opened it up it was FULL of toilet paper. I had asked my GF to buy 24 rolls of toilet paper earlier because I was sick of running out so often and wanted to buy enough to last. She went online and bought 24 PACKAGES of toilet paper each containing 6 double rolls of toilet paper, so 144 rolls, or 288 if you count each as two. I usually buy 6 rolls at a time. We have a teeny one bedroom apartment just under 800 square feet, so about 10% of our apartment right now is toilet paper.
Mrs. Celemo was helping Kendall with her homework the other day and got into an argument with her about how to spell the word "forty"...apparently Mrs. Celemo thought it was "fourty" Mrs. Celemo was helping Meatball with his homework today and had to look up one of his spelling words because she didn't know what the word was and thought it was a typo. the word was integer and on the FF tangent, it can be fun depending on the league but I quit playing because I got sick of all the typical bullshit
I assume his GF is the reason he keeps running out of toilet paper. I know my gf's usage of TP is like 3x mine. As a joke I used my own roll and hid it from her. She finished 3+ rolls before I finished 1.