Girlfriend did dishes at my house and said the sink was clogged and the garbage disposal wasn't working. The sink was full to the top with nasty water and didn't drain for a day. Was going to call a plumber but figured I'd see if there was some clog I could remove first. Reach my hand in, and the stopper was in. Was able to pull it out, water drained, all while looking at her.
My next step would have been to plunge her. Spoiler I don't even really know what that means, but it sounds dirty
I have one of those strainers that you can twist the top to close it. I've taught my wife has learned that step one in unclogging a stopped sink is twisting the propeller thingy to the left (but she's still not sure why that works).
So my wife sees these mason jar crafts on Pinterest and wants to give them to everyone. Basically hot glue some googly eyes on and fill it with something white and you have a snowman. Googly eyes, something brown, and some pipe cleaner antlers and you've got a reindeer. That was her stupid part for thinking we could do that before Christmas. My stupid part was as follows: I come up with the idea that the brown substance can be hot chocolate powder and the white substance can be mini-marshmallows and I google for bulk of both. I do my math and find out that I need about 16 lbs of cocoa powder to fill 10 mason jars so I order 20 lbs because there's a discount and its cheaper than 16. I also order 20 lbs of marshmallows because I don't feel like doing the math again. The order arrives and I get a 10"x10"x10" box of cocoa and a small-refrigerator sized box of marshmallows because they're dehydrated cereal marshmallows and they weigh next to nothing. I fill up all of the mason jars and probably have a quarter of the cocoa and 9/10 of the marshmallows left.
Watching LSU @ Wake Forest hoops tonight. Wife sees the WF logo and asks: "what does WF mean? West Virginia?"
Just got to a computer, so I'll upload these: Finished product: Spoiler Amount of marshmallows that I have left after making all of those: Spoiler Every bake sale from now on is getting rice krispy treats.
That actually looks good. I tried to come up with something for the marshmallows, but what do you do with pounds and pounds of marshmallows?
I was going to say go for the record of the world's largest smore, but that thing is 267 pounds so you're fucked. So now you go for the most people making smores at once, that's 423. You got this
You've already set a world record for "worst miscalculation of supplies needed for a Pinterest project"
I also had to go back to Michael's when I ran out of brown pipe cleaners, so I'm batting about .100 on this one (I got the number of mason jars right).
I'm sitting in Rogue One and get this text message: Spoiler It was actually a pheasant tail I had on the back deck air drying.
So yesterday my wife is packing for Christmas at grandma's, she went last night and I was heading there after work Me: need any help? Bestie: no I got it At 4pm today right before I leave
The list of shit she forgot, apparently multiple times I blacked out my kids names, our family is a really big deal
Text convo to wife: Me: Did you hear what they found on Mars today? Mind blowing. Her: What? What was it? Me: They found a spoon Her: that's not a real spoon, it's a rock I think. What is NASA doing if they can't determine it's a rock shaped like a spoon when I can in less than 2 minutes? Me: No, they think it might be the lost spoon from the Apollo 11 mission. When they inventoried the space capsule when they got back, the only thing missing was the spoon that Armstrong used for cereal and to stir his coffee. Her: It still looks like a rock shaped like a spoon. But I guess it would make sense if they're missing a spoon. Me: They think it's 95% that it's Armstong's spoon. Her: that's really cool
Me: hear about Carrie fisher? Her: who's Carrie fisher? Me: uhhh Princess Leia. Her: oh. What happened? Me: she had a heart attack on a flight from London to LA. Her: that's awful... 2 minutes later Her: it's crazy someone so young having a heart attack. Me: ??? Her: Shes the hero in the new Star Wars, right? Me: *all the facepalms*
In her defense, you told her they found it on Mars. Apollo 11 went to the Moon. She's probably posting this in "stupid shit my husband says" thread on the female version of TMB as we speak.