Really looking forward to the post in a few months where she has completely cut him off, he NOW realizes she was the one and the reality of 40 and never married, etc hits him in the face. Then of course he joins the tinder thread and posts whores he banged to make himself feel better. Seen it a thousand times.
I'm amazed that he thought that anything good could come out of talking to girls about his current girlfriend in any way other than completely complimentary of her.
If you're being shut out and she won't talk with you, there's only one thing to do: Make her a mix tape. Chicks love mix tapes.
I agree with what others have said about her reaction; I don't blame her at all. But why are you so concerned with how she found out? In at least a half dozen of your replies you've wondered about her finding out from one of your buddy's girlfriend's friends. I think it's highly likely that in your admittedly drunken state you were talking louder than you thought and she overheard, or some drunk person at the party overheard and mentioned it to her, or one of the drunk girls you were talking to drunkenly mentioned it to someone and she overheard them, etc, but if that's what you're worried about you're really missing the point.
Lynchburg College is actually a co-ed school, has always been. So were the public schools I attended for secondary school.
Shit at 28, if she has any desire for kids I don't blame her. You said at best you were looking at engagement in a year, that's 29, wedding another after that, 30, even if she got pregnant nearly right way that puts her at 31. That clock is ticking for her, and it comes up fast. If you were having concerns and she wants kids she knows she has to make something happen quick, can't waste another year to see.
Yup, she's ruined for life now. Worst part is, some women do it to themselves by partying from 22-30 and some just get screwed by investing 5 years in a dude who had no desire to marry them in the first place.
...and that after 4.5 years she's never noticed he posts on this site or she doesn't want to go looking.
My gal is also from Canada and we live together now. Things are going well though and she actually wants to be here in LA. I'll probably wife her up if we're still good a year from now. That green card process is a bitch though.
Drives me crazy how my girlfriend would rather see an objectively bad movie that is "happy" than an objectively good movie that is sad. We had a double date Sunday with her best friend and her boyfriend where we debated "Manchester by the Sea" vs "Sing" for half an hour, with them acknowledging that Manchester by the Sea would be a better movie but it was too "serious." I wasn't all that opposed to seeing Sing, I just knew there were better movies out there that I wanted to see. We ended up compromising with "Arrival" (which I thought was really good). Neither of the women understood it, likely due to the fact that we explained to them beforehand that if they had any questions they had to ask each other, not us.
I reiterate that the people who are hyping manchester by the sea are people who reserve the term "film" for certain movies
I let my ex go because of these reasons. I wasn't sure what I wanted out of the relationship but when she started talking about her biological clock and getting married I realized I didn't want her forever and had to let her go even though we were still having a good time together. She's 26 I'm 28 lived together for like 2 years. Sometimes shit like this happens for a reason. I'm having a great time being single and I'm not leading her on a dead end. CTownND You're obviously not happy if you'd even consider mentioning that to anyone outside your homeboys.
Her shutting you out says more about her views than any words she can say. 4.5 years is a long time and just because she hasn't talked to you about marriage doesn't mean it's not on her mind. Women usually aren't direct. They want you to be able to decipher how they feel and figure it out. Not only didn't you do that, but you voiced concerns about a relationship that was at an uneasy stage to people who aren't her instead of her. You didn't give her the courtesy of talking to her about your doubts, so you aren't entitled to a conversation. I would say you need to figure out your long-term end-game here before a discussion anyway. If you want her back, it's time to move to the next level. If you don't want to move to that level, let her go find someone who does.
To play devil's advocate, this girl is probably a little bonkers too. I get her blowing up on CTownND but shutting him out completely is childish. She might be inciting him to "fight for her," whatever the fuck that means.
Just so you fellas know, there are women out there exactly like that fucked up slit in Gone Girl...caveat' emptor....
She texted me saying she found a new apartment, paid me for January rent, and will work out logistics of the new apartment with me when able. I called her immediately and she picked up. Said let's meet, talk through this, I need a chance to talk, etc. She said she was too busy with work to meet so we can talk on the phone. I laid out the I'm a stupid asshole, took you for granted, didn't mean to hurt you argument (all true). She went into more detail about how hurt she was at the party - said she came up to my conversations a couple times and I didn't introduce her to the person I was talking to, how once I looked upset that she joined a convo I was in with some random girl, etc. We were at a bar 3 months ago with her friend, my friend, and my friend's friend I had never met before. He asked her how she knew my friend, and she said through me, and he said something like "oh, didn't know you guys were dating, didn't look like it." And I guess that really stung her. She continued insisting on how it's against her principles to be treated like shit, she thinks she's a "great catch" and won't stand for that, etc. We continued talking for a while, finally she seemed to come around a bit. I was able to convince her not to sign the lease, not to do anything rash right now. Told her we can work through it and it'll take time but I can prove to her how special she is, etc. I wasn't going to fix everything in one convo, it's not easy, I don't like how she woudn't meet live to talk, and it wasn't flawless, but it was kind of like beating a bad team 28-27 on a last second FG, I guess I accomplished the task of getting her not to move out ASAP.
Kinda feel like you're delaying the inevitable so you can feel better in the now personally, but that's based entirely on what you've posted here.
Are you ready to take it to the engagement/marriage level? If not, you're basically putting lipstick on a pig right now. I do think you need to figure out what the fuck you want long-term first and then figure out if you need to get her back second.
This is either delaying the inevitable or was the wake up call moment you needed to progress things. Status quo is pretty much out of the question.
Patching things up for one last round of bumpity bump with her, with a hidden camera lurking in the room, is the only good answer here.
if she's going back and trying to think of other times that you made her feel second-rate, it's over brah