I'm telling you, it'll change your life (and theirs). Don't drop them in there the first time and walk away for an hour. Like the poster above said, it'll take a few times (it is called sleep training, after all). I thought we were being super heroes/parents of the year rocking our first one to sleep "aww don't let him cry". No joke, he is STILL a terrible sleeper. My others? No issues at all. My youngest (now 18 months) literally reaches out for his bed.
we went through this after both our paternity and maternity leaves were over and again recently. After enough sleepless nights I’m sure she’ll change her mind. The first time it took like a week for the sleep training to work. Think it was harder on my wife than my kid. The second time we let him cry it out one night for like an hour and he was back going to sleep by himself.
I was the guilty party in our relationship, but it didn’t help that he was always yelling “Dad Dad Daaaaad” and would walk up and put his face in the Nest cam looking like that scene from The Blair Witch Project. My MIL came into town, got fed up, told him Dad had errands to run, and made me go sit in my car for an hour a couple nights in a row, so I couldn’t hear it. It helped everyone
We moved an hour out of dallas last year to be closer to my wife's family. I cannot overstate how huge having a helpful MIL nearby is. My wife is out of town and my son is fighting a stomach bug. She took my daughter overnight last night and will pick her up, feed her, and put her to bed tonight. House next door just hit the market and I'm considering paying the difference between their current home and that to move her to be within walking distance.
We followed Taking Cara Babies sleep training method. Worth every penny. Lay them down awake, they'll probably cry, and you check back in with them (briefly) at 5 minutes and let them know everything is fine (without picking them up) and leave. Next visit after 7 more minutes, next after 10 more, etc. Eventually they will fall asleep and it'll teach them how to get themselves to sleep. There will always be regressions but staying firm and constant with your check-ins will work. First few nights will be tough emotionally but it will be the best outcome for everyone. Thankfully wife and I both held strong because we knew it was in the best interest of all parties involved. We had too many friends/family that ended up with kids in their bed and we wanted no part of that. I have a friend that still rocks their 5-year-old to sleep every night. That sounds like hell.
At what age? I know it goes against every thing taught, but our 2 month old twins will only sleep in our bed, cuddled against mom and I. I want them out. For safety, and so I have space.
Iirc some folks in the thread moved their kids out at a few weeks. We’ve typically waited until the kid outgrows the bedside bassinet
Oh, I'm well aware. Sadly, all the great advice I've given her from TMB falls on deaf ears. "They're just 2 months old, they're still infants, they need to know we're there." She says we can at 3 months.
This is for after they have been moved into their own rooms. I know they are expensive as hell but the Snoo was also worth every penny. Do they accept a swaddle? Or any type of sleep sack? This. You have to break the cycle of having babies in your bed or it'll eventually just become the norm. And as you said, it's not safe to have them sleeping in your bed at their age. I'd highly suggest biting the bullet and paying for Taking Cara Babies.
Isn't cosleeping with an infant dangerous? We did the snoo with ours with audio and video monitors. Those things were never in our room
I personally don't think you need any sort of 'program' to follow. Put them in their bed, let them cry. First night after 10 min, go in and check on them. Pat/soothe them (don't pickup). Second night, stretch it to 15 min. Third night stretch it to 20 min. Fourth night (or whatever), they're sleeping. Use a bit of common sense (yes they're going to lose their minds initially, they want to sleep in the bed/have you do whatever you were doing with/from you). That's it. That's the training.
Cosleeping isn’t nearly as dangerous as most think. 98% of all issues with infant cosleeping is due to drinking, drugs, or smokers.
I think the program or book telling the wife what to do instead of the husband is probably the #1 reason these books sell
Something tells me the wife would be much more open to a trusted website with video tutorials than "my e-bros from TMB said to do this."
Hey babe, watch this video of a perfect sleep routine from a peer on the mainboard. Hits wrong button. Fuckin' cars, fuckin' signs, fuckin' streets.
I dunno man. Years and years of learning things here makes her more trusting than “something I saw mommyperfect.org”
I have no idea who is paying for it, someone on this thread talked about paying for "Taking Cara Babies". I suggested not paying for something like that. I don't really care if it is $9 or $900. I don't see the need or value. If you want to piss away $9, send it to me. I'll buy a cup of coffee in the morning or something. Edit: This is robbery, I guess a sucker is born every second - https://takingcarababies.com/the-5-24-month-collection
I get, and share, a lot of my info from TMB. And she is well aware of that. For this, she is not trusting us. She's stuck on the fact they're just 2 months, lol. At least she thinks it's silly to pay for programs you can find online for free (like the main board dot com) They aren't our first kid. Our 2 year old was fine because she didn't want to be held or anybody sleeping with her. These twins are a different animal.
fair enough. i assumed "taking cara babies" was a paperbook book like Moms on Call, Happiest baby on the Block, Babywise etc. Which all essentially coach the same thing. For new parents I think those books are definitely worth reading. I just googled Taking Cara Babies and yeah it's an online class which presumably teaches the stuff you're talking about. I agree that it is almost certainly a waste of money as these packages are $100-$300.
as a parent of 3 i can confidently say that most variations of "sleep training" preach the same thing and they are either going to work or they are not. it really just depends on the child. if your baby is a really good sleeper than congrats you won the baby lottery but it most likely wasn't anything you did.
Kid1 was a bad sleeper and was exacerbated by parents(mom). Kid2 and kid3 are good sleepers so it’s been much easier to “sleep train”.
Yeah, I suggested it because that was our resource 5+ years ago and I think it was ~$50 at the time. Hard pass at spending hundreds on it now. Thanks a lot, Biden.
Kid 1 was moved out at 2 months, Kid 2 was moved out @ 4 weeks. Kids slept better when they couldn't smell mom. We went from every hour or so to 2-3 hour stretches. I sleep trained kid 1 when mom was in hospital at 6 ish weeks, following taking cara babies method and it was 2 nights. When mom came back home she broke it but I put my foot down within a week and got kid 1 back to sleeping solid 4-6 hr stretches again
My second grader about had me in tears earlier. One of his buddies is in the hospital and he kept asking why and I told him he had a bad infection called rheumatic fever. He said that he got it all the time in this game called Oregon trail that his teacher gave him a link for. Then I had to listen to him go off for a few minutes about how he would always kill a bunch of buffalo but could only carry 100lbs of meat.
I do. His gf’s family is going through some lean times and she was on her own for all the prom expenses we found out later. We ended up paying for the flowers when they ordered but now it looks like her dress won’t make it in time potentially. Her parents aren’t super involved so off we go.
She’s a sweet girl and the last thing we want is for her to feel uncomfortable. She works her ass off with two jobs and going to school. She eats at our house most nights she isn’t working, and we tend to help with all the normal parent things like filling out W4s, doing taxes, etc.