Couple fun moments from this weekend: -Wife ordered a bunch of stuff from H&M for Christmas. Somehow she sent it to our old house that we lived in about 3 years ago. It was delivered Thursday so I got to drive about 1 hour trip time to figure out that whoever lives there now was not home and we left a note on the door. My wife is fighting back tears hard, mostly because her new Christmas pajamas were part of the order. Friday she gets some other package that she is super pumped about, she tells me it's the dogs pajamas and she couldn't be more excited to get that damn box open. Our dogs are about medium size, around 40 pounds each. She pulls out the pajamas and they look like they might be able to fit an average size cat. The waterworks were instant. It was both hilarious and sad to watch. -Christmas day we had to go to one side of my families for a Christmas lunch then we were going back to our house to have her family over for dinner. Somehow we get to Christmas day and she is in panic mode because we aren't going to have enough food. Just one huge problem with that, not one grocery store is open on Christmas day. She broke down like twice at the lunch over the sad fact that we weren't going to have enough food. Fast forward to her family over for dinner, about 8 of us, and we have a 10 pound turkey, about 5 pounds of roast, mashed potatoes, cream spinach, meatballs, baked brie, and other stuff I can't even remember. I'll be eating leftovers for a week.
So the wife had been having some heartburn issues, generally feeling kind of "off" for the last several months with regard to her appetite, reflux, etc. She apparently told me about it "a lot" and this has been going on forever. I don't recall her complaining much except after eating and drinking a shit ton at BBQ's, which I just chalked up to the game... She starts going to the doctor, getting all these tests, including a HIDA scan, since most of her symptoms vaguely point to her gallbladder. The scan is inconclusive, but can't "rule out" that. My wife is a nurse and generally thinks she has every condition ever, but this seemed to really be bothering her. She eventually has her gall bladder removed after not finding much else out. She appears good for about 6 weeks but then she starts complaining again with the same type of symptoms, etc. Oh boy, same old story I'm thinking.... She ran out of coffee creamer for about a week shortly after complaining of symptoms again and coincidently, she felt "awesome." Seeing as there was something to this, she stopped using this type of coffee creamer for the next few weeks and now is 100 percent recovered and has zero problems since. I spent thousands of dollars on medical bills over fucking coffee creamer.
My wife did that exactly for some gifts except they were rejected for delivery so they are in limbo. My mom and her mom did not have gifts because she didn't check the shipping address. She is supposed to call today and get it resolved.
Last night on the couch while she is on her laptop. Her: Whats todays date? Me: The day after Christmas Her: No, I know its the day after Christmas. Whats the date. Me: Christmas is the 25th of Dec. Day after is the 26th Her: Thats all I wanted.
I agreed to help one of my wife's friends and her fiancé with some minor fixes around their house. In the car with wife: Me: they didn't say what day they want to do this. Tomorrow? Her: they invited us to dinner tomorrow Me: so tomorrow? Her: they bought everything at Home Depot earlier today Me: so tomorrow? Her: I think the light fixture for their entry way is really pretty Me: so tomorrow? Her: what are you talking about? Me: what day do they want us to come over and help? Her: I don't know. Why don't you ask them.
How about smart shit we do as BFs/Husbands thread? For example. Lane Bryant coupons came in the mail addressed to wife. Shreded those before she got home. I wouldn't have gotten laid for a week due to those making her feel uncomfortable about her body. Crisis averted.
Not my girlfriend, but I figured this would be a good place to post it 16 friends and I are doing a house in Costa for the next 5 days, flying into San Jose. I got in yesterday, with 1/3rd of the people, most everyone else arrives today. We had one girl who was in California visiting family for Christmas so she is flying by herself here from Sacramento. There was a conversation this morning about how her flight times didn't make any sense, why was it so quick She bought a flight to San Jose, California. She just figured it out after she went from Sacramento to Seattle to connect to go back down
My wife's good friend and her bf are both Falcons fans that go to all of the home games. To surprise her, he bought plane tickets to Tampa the week they played the Bucs so they could go to the game. They get to the airport and randomly run into our other buddy at the terminal who is going to visit family in Tampa. They tell him about their trip and he just starts laughing in their face. After a minute of confusion he explains that it's a home game for Atl and they're flying to Tampa to watch the game on tv. My wife and I went to the game here in Atlanta and were texting them regularly throughout to meet us for drinks etc to fuck with them *Sadly this was all the man's fault
She just rebooked and now gets in at 1 am. No idea how much that same day flight cost but that's not my problem
My friends girlfriend used to live right down from where I am at, she has been moved out of that place for about 4 or 5 months now but just last week I get a text from her asking me to swing by her old house and pick up a package off the front porch. This was the 4th time I have been asked to do this, how fucking hard is it to check your shipping address before you order something.
Sorry - odd post alert coming, but wanted to just type it out as a kind of therapy. I've been dating my girlfriend for a little over four years and we've lived together a little over a year and a half. New Years Eve started out like any other day. We went to the gym together, made brunch with mimosas, I watched the football games while she went shopping, we made dinner together, and searched for flights for a trip to Barcelona we're planning for June. For New Years' we left around 9 PM to go to my buddy's house (let's call him Frank) who was having a party. Party started completely normal. Frank and his girlfriend - we'll call her Rachel - gave us a tour of their new house, we played a couple games of beer pong together, met some people, had a midnight kiss, etc. Around 12:20 AM we split up. I started talking to some of Rachel's friends while my girlfriend was talking to other people. I know Rachel really well and her friends decent enough; they all are cute, nice people that have boyfriends. I was pretty drunk and don't remember exactly what I said but don't think I said anything bad and DEFINITELY was not outright making an advance on any of them. One asked me how my "fiance" was and I corrected her as "girlfriend" and brought up how I'm struggling with making a long-term commitment but the option is on the table. To one I mentioned how I like where the relationship is going but always struggle with wondering "is there somebody better out there." Frank and Rachel like my girlfriend but don't love our relationship - they want to see us happy but also have mentioned they both have doubts in the relationship and have often joked about setting me up with Rachel's friend Rebecca. At one point, my girlfriend walked up to a conversation I was having with one of Rachel's friends and the friend walked away immediately. Around 1:15 AM, my girlfriend said we should call an Uber and we did. Immediately we get in the Uber and she says we're officially done and broken up and she's going to look into new apartments this week. I asked what the hell is she talking about, and she said it was clear I don't care for her anymore, and she was doing what I don't have the balls to do and breaking up with me. I again asked what the hell she was talking about, and she said I was flirting with other girls the whole night, I should go move in with one of them. I reiterated that Rachel's girlfriends all have boyfriends and I was just being a social drunk butterfly talking to them and she should mean nothing of it. She then brought up other examples of my "transgressions" - saying I was hitting on my buddy's sister at a party we had in December (both my buddy and his sister have since said I wasn't and being totally normal), when I hit on another girl at a bar after a concert (my buddy at the bar with me that night said I did nothing that should have upset her), and when I hit on a girl at Frank's birthday in November. The last one I kind of admitted - I flirted a bit with some girl I'd never seen before - but nothing came of it, no number, never seen her again, etc. If it's a crime to talk to a girl at a birthday party, I'm guilty, but I never had the intention to cheat or do anything wrong. Anyway, she said that it's been something that's been on her mind a lot of trying to repress, but NYE party set her over the edge; she is convinced that I don't love her because I've been flirting with other girls. I've never once even came close to cheating on her, don't stay in contact with any girl she has mentioned, know they all had boyfriends pretty much (especially the one who is 1. my buddy's sister 2. lives in another city and 3. has a boyfriend), etc. Am I completely faultless here? I don't think so. I was drunk and ignored my girlfriend for a bit - the kind of thing she can complain about and should get mad at me for but not something to end a relationship of four years. Maybe I haven't shown her how much she means to me enough. Whatever the case, I'm pretty confused and lost here. She stayed last night at a friend's place - the friend texted me "she's just hurt, needs some time, but all will be well." Then today she came back and told me she's going to look for apartments this week, she is done, doesn't want to talk about it, I should "talk to those girls from the party if you want to talk about things" etc. It just seems like either 1. someone said something to her that's untruthful or she misinterpreted or 2. something just snapped. I'm kind of at a loss to what to do here... seems like we can work through it but she's still not speaking to me two days later. I just don't have any clue whether this is real or if she'll come down to earth soon - it's like I'm missing something.
Or someone legit told her what you said about struggling with committing and there could be someone better out there... That's a dumbass thing to say when she's there to people you aren't sure if they'll keep your thoughts to themselves or not
yeah these are pretty big red flags if they got back to her which it sounds like they did, especially when conveyed through acquaintances or through more than one person
Hold up. You told other girls at a party that you were wondering if there was anyone better out there and that you were having trouble committing to the relationship?
-at party with long term girlfriend -complain to other girls that you don't know well that you struggle about whether someone better is out there -girlfriend gets mad/breaks it off seems pretty logical imoiyam. four years or four months you shouldn't pull that move, but four years? eesh
Talking to semi random girls at a party about how you're not ready to commit and comments like "is there someone better out there" is a dumbass move on your part.
you never say anything about your girlfriend, other than you have a girlfriend, to other girls. no matter what you say, it will get back to her wrong. but in this case, the things you were saying made it easy for them to pass along info to her that would warrant her actions. if you were feeling those things, talking to her about it would have been beneficial and maybe even led to you thinking she was the one. now she just sees herself as a placeholder until the one comes along. you made yourself more emotionally available to "Rachel's girlfriends that all have boyfriends" than you did to her and that is a tough pill for a girl to swallow. in short, good luck. whether you realized it at the time or not, you made the bed yourself.
True - it was a dumb thing to say. But I'm really hoping Rachel (who i know well) or Rachel's friend (who i know well enough) wouldn't just waltz up to my girlfriend and say "hey, your boyfriend doesn't want to marry you, sorry." That's what I'm struggling with - maybe they did - but think it would be a real dick move for it to happen and don't get what their impulse would be. Even so, is that something that would lead to just completely blowing up and breaking up with me? I get it if I was making out with one of her friend's in the hallway but this is far from that. Her friend who she stayed with mentioned how "I think it's something you guys should be able to work through but don't know how long it will take" leading me to believe she doesn't actually think I was cheating on her because she's told that girl everything and the girl seems to think its not an offense to break up over (told me she "made a strong argument to work through it" with me).
Yeah, word getting back to her that you can't commit because you think there is something better out there after 4.5 years definitely warrants a break up. She legit said she's doing what you are scared to do, which is true
On NYE the GF is reading an article about how many issues ABC was having with Mariah Carey (boy did that sure payoff) and how she was confused by her "show time" because it wasn't clear when the ball would drop. We all start laughing until one girl chimes in with, "well that is kind of confusing. How is she supposed to know when the ball drops".
I definitely agree it was a dumbass move on my part and would totally take it back if I could. A couple things I'd clarify - 1. Frank's my friend, knows my girlfriend well. Rachel also knows her well. I see Rachel's friends once every 3-4 months or so - almost all the time when my girlfriend's out of town or has plans and I see them at a bar. They had never met my girlfriend. View me as harmless. I'd see no reason why they'd try to submarine my relationship by passing along something I told them in confidence. 2. Again, my girlfriend has never mentioned "so-and-so told me you search for someone better out there" and that's why I'm breaking up with you - I'm just GUESSING that's what sending her over the edge. I ran this by Frank and he said my friends all like you, know way they would do this to you. Doesn't this warrant a conversation though? I feel like I'm being completely shut out and have losing my mind not knowing what I'm up against.
yeah she should talk to you, agree there, likely will in a few days but 4 years and she likely hears from an acquaintance that you're not sure about her and wonder about who else is out there? thats a big deal, makes her feel like if some hot chick hits on you at a bar you may blow up the 4 year relationship. not surprised she doesn't want to be like "X, Y, and Z, is why". going to hurt when that confrontation goes down.
'I told these people I see every 3-4 months that I can't commit to my girlfriend and might want someone better'
Well that's what I'm scared of. Something like "I think that there's someone better than her (you)" isn't what I actually said. It's more along the lines of "I'm really cautious about long-term commitment so haven't planned to propose soon, though may in the future" and "she's the first girl I've dated seriously, with nothing to compare it to it's hard to know how I really feel and what else could be out there." Was it a dumb thing to say? Yeah. Does it warrant a breakup? I don't know. If Frank told me he heard my girlfriend telling Rachel that, I wouldn't break up with her. Definitely not without talking about it.
If you're 4.5 years in and still unsure maybe she actually did you a favor by ending it now instead of dragging it out? She may also not want to waste time if she doesn't think an engagement is likely. If you are in the neighborhood of 30 and she wants kids etc she can't spend too much time on an unsure thing. Clock is ticking
You can't project how you'd feel about what essentially amounts to 'she's cool and all but I might like someone else'