Nah don't feel bad, even if she was 100% it's like 1-2 times a week. Which kinda blows me away because when I first met her, I couldn't go to sleep at night or get out of bed in the morning without sexing her up. Fast forward almost 20 years and she was legitimately surprised when she found out I jerked off more than 6 times a year (her estimate)
I don't...i am playing victim here. She is great. Almost never turns me down but she never initiate..i have nothing to complain about.
Her mind was blown when i told her i had to nut at least once a day....now every piece of tissu is suspicious to her.
it's a progression. tickle > finger portion > eat > toy > dick currently testing the limits with a potential GF the word potential has about a 3 week shelf life as she will be joining me on a trip to AL for my little brother's wedding on 9/10 weekend downplayed the invitation/discussion as much as possible as her being a fun date, likes to dance, etc. whole idea fits squarely into the having cake and eating it too so I'll either be pulling up a chair ITT or the Tinder thread around mid-september
Had an interesting moment on vacation in Miami. We're walking and overhear this exchange from a couple "You never let me pick!" "Fine, what do you want to eat" "Idk, you're just mean" Congresswoman says "see, we're all crazy"
I was really suprised it was bad too. It's Pixar, who I typically trust outside of Cars/Planes money grabs.
Yea, my wife and I were playing chicken as to who was first when it came to admitting that it was awful. "So I guess there were some cute parts..." "I laughed a couple times too, I guess." "Yea?" "Yea." "Yea." "Okay...yea that was fucking abysmal."
Was watching the Olympic 5000 meter race last night with the best friend. "How many miles is 5000 meters" "A little more than 3" "Oh so it's kind of like a 5k?"
my wife texted me today "what is 5.5 divided by 2" not sure what bothers me more, that she can't do basic math in her head (or even on paper) or the fact she is so lazy she texted me instead of using the calculator on her phone
How many Times did she threatened to do this/did this before for this fella to actually have a surveillance system installed in the house. Asking for a friend.
Of course they are both crazy, but her trying to say that this reaction is all his fault is pretty fucking hilarious and soo typical
We adopted a dog a few months ago. Our dog loves playing in water that comes up about 3-4 inches on her, but hates being in water any deeper. Typically when we give her a bath we've just taken her into the shower and she's not a huge fan of it but it works out fine. This weekend my fiancée decides she's going to give her an actual bath. Tell her it's an awful idea, but she's adamant that it's going to work. I tell her that's fine, but I'm not helping and I'll just clean her in the shower after our dog jumps out and gets everything dirty I'm waiting downstairs, about 30 seconds into it I hear "oh no!" and then my dog jumping out and on to the floor
showing my kids Superman II and you see a phone booth Wife: You don't really see those anymore... except in Europe
This is accurate for the UK at least. They're all over the place in Cambridge and London. Mostly as a tourist attraction and homeless bathrooms. But they're there.
Wife wanted to "jumpstart" her diet/weight loss/toning/whatever girls call it by doing whole30, basically paleo's cousin. She bought the book, made a facebook group with other interested parties, posted inspirational quotes, etc. The start date was set in stone and she was determined to make it 30 days, trying "harder than she ever has." She made it 3.5 days and quit.
Wife had 3 beers at the pool and got stung by a scorpion. One Benadryl and another beer later and she's been sleeping since 2pm.
I took her vehicle to the store yesterday and used her keys. Today, she's going to pick our sons friend up because we are going to the water park and she is frantically looking for her keys. She blames me for not putting them back on the key hook in our kitchen. We spend the next 15 mins looking for them. I go out to the car thinking maybe I left them in the car. On my way back in, she meets me at the front door and I see one of the keys hanging out of her shorts pocket. Yep, her keys. Me: "we're just gonna pretend this didn't happen" Her: "sounds good"
Seems women have the innate ability to break phones. Why is that? Is is due to being on them more or when drunk they have even less hand eye coordination? This I just don't understand.