Stupid Things People do at Work: Update-Mother of all black widows found in my office :(

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Shocker, Sep 13, 2011.

  1. Capstone 88 Going hard in the paint

    What's the brown stuff in the bottom?
  2. Redav Arm Talent

    Lol at letting this go on at your dad's company.
  3. Shocker A free born man of the USA

    A combination of the spiders she has killed, some things those spiders had killed, and other things this spider killed. It was all pretty much living shit at one point.

    My dad has a desk that he sits at every day right next to the one in the picture. He knows full well what is going on and has not taken any action. He's a natural born leader. I think he knows what that spider means for comradery and more importantly I think he knows it keeps everyone on edge around here.
    Quebecois, Drew, Talking Head and 2 others like this.
  4. tjosu ..

    Seems like a lot of people assume that if you get bit by a black widow it automatically means death.
    Show Spoiler
    it doesn't


    That has been an awesome thread that I'll continue to follow though. Sounds like an awesome office, and that's an impressive collection of work at the bottom of her shell
  5. Capstone 88 Going hard in the paint

    I assume your dad's an older gentleman, correct? Their poison can kill an elderly person. Let spider out, dad dies, you take over company,???????, profit
  6. kslim give me the qb first so i can bust like a bubble

    you do, just the tissue that has already died tho
  7. Broteen Maintaining Integrity

    I'll bet the immediate area smells like a hot pile of compost.
  8. Broteen Maintaining Integrity

    Maybe not that bad, but unpleasant.

    For the elderly and babies, it can. But for most, I think you'll get sick and need to get looked at.
  9. Xander Crews You people and your slight differences disgust me

    The clamshell needs a 24/day live video feed.

    We could have a TMB pool for that awful day when all of those baby widows hatch.
    DaHurricane54 and Broteen like this.
  10. Shocker A free born man of the USA

    We gathered briefly to discuss how we will feed the babies. Tentative plan is to create a hatch that we can open and then close after funneling other spiders/food into the shell.. My main concern is how many babies will escape each time we open the hatch. The mother is on high alert right now, though, they put another spider in there and she went fucking bananas on him when he came near her egg. He's dead and now part of that pile.

    My dad is only 51, so I don't know what kind of danger he is in, but he's definitely close to ground zero. I'll use some sort of age joke against him tomorrow in our meeting, though.
    Buster 5000 and Iron Mickey like this.
  11. Pokes In a relationship with Melanie S.

    You should make a poll to let us decide what she kills next
  12. Shocker A free born man of the USA

    Well, I don't know, because what if something kills her? What happens to the babies?

    Does she need to be involved in their lives or how do spiders work?
  13. Broteen Maintaining Integrity

    Won't the babies just crawl through the vents? Or are you hatching the vents?
  14. Canesfan3234 It's not worth winning if you can't win big!

    just want to say this is the best thread TMB has had in a long time
    Waffle House likes this.
  15. Shocker A free born man of the USA

    Sooo, there are only three of us in the office... My dad, who is scared of spiders, the girl they always fuck with, and myself...

    Dad walks in and says he's going to kill the spider... I say, "come on, man, he'll be pissed..."

    He says, "Can you imagine what will happen when they hatch? It's going to be like fucking..... SNAKES ON A PLANE IN HERE!"

    Problem is, he can't find the god damn thing. He looked through the guy's desk and all around. We're thinking he took it home.
  16. Broteen Maintaining Integrity

    http://www.orkin.com/other/spiders/baby-black-widow-spider

    So I guess they go airborne? :ohholkyfuck:
  17. Cornfed Buffalo ...it smells like Dior and derrière

    PAC 12! PAC 12! PAC 12! PAC 12!
  18. Beanh8er Get the cock out of your ear, Dumbfuck.

    This must be the most unproductive workplace of all time due to these spiders.
  19. Shocker A free born man of the USA

  20. Whammy Out Of Business Avid indoorsman, 4-3 defense enthusiast

    What is, "Right into your fucking office," Alex
  21. Shocker A free born man of the USA

    FWIW, I was going to bring my puppy up with me to work this week, but there's no fucking way I'm bringing her up here while that spider is alive and there's the potential for her to have babies at any moment...
  22. Broteen Maintaining Integrity

    http://ednieuw.home.xs4all.nl/Spiders/InfoNed/webthread.html

    :blowup:
  23. Stylee Will Work For Core Values

    Get a few pieces of screen off of a window/patio
    Tape pieces of screen over holes
    Raise babies
  24. Capstone 88 Going hard in the paint

    DEATH FROM ABOVE
    Iron Mickey likes this.
  25. CaneKnight Chickens are decent people

    This thread has made me a big fan of Bruinshocker
  26. HatterasJack Only took me two years to change this

  27. Capstone 88 Going hard in the paint

    that website says the women can store sperm for a long time. Good bet that your death machine was pregnant when you found her.
  28. Shocker A free born man of the USA

    Yeah, a guy in the office read that they can store sperm for up to two years or some shit... Second guy (from the story) yelled out, ENTRAPMENT!!!, and we all shared a good chuckle.

    In all, the egg was a pretty big distraction today, but that's pretty big fucking news on a Tuesday in the produce world.... It has come to the point where buyers will ask the sales guys how the spiders did over the weekend, so I feel like the babies will be pretty distracting for the next month or so.
    Talking Head likes this.
  29. Seavie Fan of: News feeds. TMB: REAL NIGGA SHIT

    Fantastic thread. Hate spiders, but can't wait to see what happens next.
  30. Nole96SC Old Member

    :roll:
  31. Kirk Fogg "Tell them what they've won Olmec!"

    My sentiments exactly.
  32. Guns fffff

    :roll:
    Iron Mickey likes this.
  33. three stacks THE COLD NEVER BOTHERED ME ANYWAY

    i love shocker even though he's a bama fan
  34. The Banks TMB's Alaskan

    witty
  35. Shocker A free born man of the USA

  36. milquetoast You call yourself a salesman you son of a bitch?

    You might consider lining the bottom of the clam shell with baking soda, talcum powder or lime. This way when the spider kids scurry away you can track their little footprints across the office. Maybe.
  37. Doc Louis High Potentate

    That's a pretty fucking good setup to have.

    Now that I'm not at work, have a fucking coworker who hijacks conversations and makes it about whatever bullshit they start talking about, like that wall o' text post I dropped this afternoon, was changing pronouns but was paraphrasing the bullshit she was saying. Most goddamn annoying thing ever.
  38. Kirk Fogg "Tell them what they've won Olmec!"

  39. Capstone 88 Going hard in the paint

    wat
  40. Matt Foley Motivational Speaker

    Would be awesome if you could set up a webcam and share death matches with TMB, as well as the inevitable hatching.
  41. Shocker A free born man of the USA

    Roll tide

    I think we need to spray some water in there at some point. I'll bring this up tomorrow.

    I'll see if they can send me a video or ill get a lot of pics and videos when they hatch.

    Think my dad knows he will lose the whole office if he kills the spider, so he has no choice but see how this plays out. We are all in this together at this point.
    Quebecois likes this.
  42. BMR I'm like Jessie in this bitch, I'm so excited.

    Really need to find a system of securing the vents.
  43. Shocker A free born man of the USA

    We will address the vents tomorrow. We kind of had a lot on our plates today with the egg appearing and her killing the fuck out of that other spider. I definitely think the holes in the shell is one of the first things we need to figure out. It also seems like it would be best for it to be in a humid area, so we will have to solve that as well.
  44. TylerFlip New Member

  45. Pokes In a relationship with Melanie S.

  46. Tigers Admin of the Year 2011, 2012, and 2013

    go steal them eggs son
    kslim likes this.
  47. eHo Fan of teams that never win shit, & the Seahawks.

    This ends one of two ways:

    1) terribly for everyone at the office, and great for TMB

    or

    2) the spider dies/is removed


    I know which one I'm rooting for. There is no chance that those baby spiders hatch and don't cause hilarity.
    slogan119 likes this.
  48. Kirk Fogg "Tell them what they've won Olmec!"

  49. righty RESPECT THE POUCH

    Am now watching this thread.
  50. Capstone 88 Going hard in the paint

    I know cock fighting and dog fighting are illegal acts. Has spider fighting been spoken on by congress?

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