Stupid Things People do at Work: Update-Mother of all black widows found in my office :(

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Shocker, Sep 13, 2011.

  1. Capstone 88

    Capstone 88 Going hard in the paint

    What's the brown stuff in the bottom?
  2. Redav

    Redav Supreme Moderator Staff Member

    Lol at letting this go on at your dad's company.
  3. Shocker

    Shocker A free born man of the USA

    A combination of the spiders she has killed, some things those spiders had killed, and other things this spider killed. It was all pretty much living shit at one point.

    My dad has a desk that he sits at every day right next to the one in the picture. He knows full well what is going on and has not taken any action. He's a natural born leader. I think he knows what that spider means for comradery and more importantly I think he knows it keeps everyone on edge around here.
  4. tjosu

    tjosu This is kind of like the breakfast club, huh?

    Seems like a lot of people assume that if you get bit by a black widow it automatically means death.
    Show Spoiler
    it doesn't

    That has been an awesome thread that I'll continue to follow though. Sounds like an awesome office, and that's an impressive collection of work at the bottom of her shell
  5. Capstone 88

    Capstone 88 Going hard in the paint

    I assume your dad's an older gentleman, correct? Their poison can kill an elderly person. Let spider out, dad dies, you take over company,???????, profit
  6. kslim

    kslim EMAW

    you do, just the tissue that has already died tho
  7. Bar None

    Bar None Maintaining Integrity

    I'll bet the immediate area smells like a hot pile of compost.
  8. Bar None

    Bar None Maintaining Integrity

    Maybe not that bad, but unpleasant.

    For the elderly and babies, it can. But for most, I think you'll get sick and need to get looked at.
  9. Xander Crews

    Xander Crews New Member

    The clamshell needs a 24/day live video feed.

    We could have a TMB pool for that awful day when all of those baby widows hatch.
    DaHurricane54 and Broteen like this.
  10. Shocker

    Shocker A free born man of the USA

    We gathered briefly to discuss how we will feed the babies. Tentative plan is to create a hatch that we can open and then close after funneling other spiders/food into the shell.. My main concern is how many babies will escape each time we open the hatch. The mother is on high alert right now, though, they put another spider in there and she went fucking bananas on him when he came near her egg. He's dead and now part of that pile.

    My dad is only 51, so I don't know what kind of danger he is in, but he's definitely close to ground zero. I'll use some sort of age joke against him tomorrow in our meeting, though.
    Buster 5000 and Iron Mickey like this.
  11. Pokes

    Pokes That's the way baseball go

    You should make a poll to let us decide what she kills next
  12. Shocker

    Shocker A free born man of the USA

    Well, I don't know, because what if something kills her? What happens to the babies?

    Does she need to be involved in their lives or how do spiders work?
  13. Bar None

    Bar None Maintaining Integrity

    Won't the babies just crawl through the vents? Or are you hatching the vents?
  14. Canesfan3234

    Canesfan3234 Fan of: Bandwagons

    just want to say this is the best thread TMB has had in a long time
    Waffle House likes this.
  15. Shocker

    Shocker A free born man of the USA

    Sooo, there are only three of us in the office... My dad, who is scared of spiders, the girl they always fuck with, and myself...

    Dad walks in and says he's going to kill the spider... I say, "come on, man, he'll be pissed..."

    He says, "Can you imagine what will happen when they hatch? It's going to be like fucking..... SNAKES ON A PLANE IN HERE!"

    Problem is, he can't find the god damn thing. He looked through the guy's desk and all around. We're thinking he took it home.
  16. Bar None

    Bar None Maintaining Integrity

    So I guess they go airborne? :ohholkyfuck:
  17. Cornfed Buffalo

    Cornfed Buffalo Do NOT touch the trim!

    PAC 12! PAC 12! PAC 12! PAC 12!
  18. Beanh8er

    Beanh8er Get the cock out of your ear, Dumbfuck.

    This must be the most unproductive workplace of all time due to these spiders.
  19. Shocker

    Shocker A free born man of the USA

  20. Whammy Business

    Whammy Business The only guilty man in Shawshank

    What is, "Right into your fucking office," Alex
  21. Shocker

    Shocker A free born man of the USA

    FWIW, I was going to bring my puppy up with me to work this week, but there's no fucking way I'm bringing her up here while that spider is alive and there's the potential for her to have babies at any moment...
  22. Bar None

    Bar None Maintaining Integrity

  23. Stylee

    Stylee Will Work For Core Values

    Get a few pieces of screen off of a window/patio
    Tape pieces of screen over holes
    Raise babies
  24. Capstone 88

    Capstone 88 Going hard in the paint

    Iron Mickey likes this.
  25. CaneKnight

    CaneKnight Al golden = pure dogshit

    This thread has made me a big fan of Bruinshocker
  26. HatterasJack

    HatterasJack Only took me two years to change this

  27. Capstone 88

    Capstone 88 Going hard in the paint

    that website says the women can store sperm for a long time. Good bet that your death machine was pregnant when you found her.
  28. Shocker

    Shocker A free born man of the USA

    Yeah, a guy in the office read that they can store sperm for up to two years or some shit... Second guy (from the story) yelled out, ENTRAPMENT!!!, and we all shared a good chuckle.

    In all, the egg was a pretty big distraction today, but that's pretty big fucking news on a Tuesday in the produce world.... It has come to the point where buyers will ask the sales guys how the spiders did over the weekend, so I feel like the babies will be pretty distracting for the next month or so.
    Talking Head likes this.
  29. Seavie

    Seavie Fan of: News feeds. TMB: REAL NIGGA SHIT

    Fantastic thread. Hate spiders, but can't wait to see what happens next.
  30. Nole96SC

    Nole96SC Old Member

  31. Kirk Fogg

    Kirk Fogg "Tell them what they've won Olmec!"

    My sentiments exactly.
  32. Guns

    Guns fffff

    Iron Mickey likes this.
  33. three stacks

    three stacks till the end Staff Member

    i love shocker even though he's a bama fan
  34. The Banks

    The Banks TMB's Alaskan

  35. Shocker

    Shocker A free born man of the USA

  36. milquetoast

    milquetoast You fucking child

    You might consider lining the bottom of the clam shell with baking soda, talcum powder or lime. This way when the spider kids scurry away you can track their little footprints across the office. Maybe.
  37. Clubber Lang

    Clubber Lang High Potentate

    That's a pretty fucking good setup to have.

    Now that I'm not at work, have a fucking coworker who hijacks conversations and makes it about whatever bullshit they start talking about, like that wall o' text post I dropped this afternoon, was changing pronouns but was paraphrasing the bullshit she was saying. Most goddamn annoying thing ever.
  38. Kirk Fogg

    Kirk Fogg "Tell them what they've won Olmec!"

  39. Capstone 88

    Capstone 88 Going hard in the paint

  40. Matt Foley

    Matt Foley New Member

    Would be awesome if you could set up a webcam and share death matches with TMB, as well as the inevitable hatching.
  41. Shocker

    Shocker A free born man of the USA

    Roll tide

    I think we need to spray some water in there at some point. I'll bring this up tomorrow.

    I'll see if they can send me a video or ill get a lot of pics and videos when they hatch.

    Think my dad knows he will lose the whole office if he kills the spider, so he has no choice but see how this plays out. We are all in this together at this point.
  42. BMR

    BMR Buddy 4 Hugs

    Really need to find a system of securing the vents.
  43. Shocker

    Shocker A free born man of the USA

    We will address the vents tomorrow. We kind of had a lot on our plates today with the egg appearing and her killing the fuck out of that other spider. I definitely think the holes in the shell is one of the first things we need to figure out. It also seems like it would be best for it to be in a humid area, so we will have to solve that as well.
  44. TylerFlip

    TylerFlip New Member

  45. Pokes

    Pokes That's the way baseball go

  46. Tigers

    Tigers Admin of the Year 2011-2014

    go steal them eggs son
    kslim likes this.
  47. eHo

    eHo Fan of teams that never win shit and the Seahawks.

    This ends one of two ways:

    1) terribly for everyone at the office, and great for TMB


    2) the spider dies/is removed

    I know which one I'm rooting for. There is no chance that those baby spiders hatch and don't cause hilarity.
    slogan119 likes this.
  48. Kirk Fogg

    Kirk Fogg "Tell them what they've won Olmec!"

  49. righty


    Am now watching this thread.
  50. Capstone 88

    Capstone 88 Going hard in the paint

    I know cock fighting and dog fighting are illegal acts. Has spider fighting been spoken on by congress?

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