Stupid Things People do at Work: Update-Mother of all black widows found in my office :(

What's the brown stuff in the bottom?

A combination of the spiders she has killed, some things those spiders had killed, and other things this spider killed. It was all pretty much living shit at one point.

My dad has a desk that he sits at every day right next to the one in the picture. He knows full well what is going on and has not taken any action. He's a natural born leader. I think he knows what that spider means for comradery and more importantly I think he knows it keeps everyone on edge around here.

Seems like a lot of people assume that if you get bit by a black widow it automatically means death.

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it doesn't

That has been an awesome thread that I'll continue to follow though. Sounds like an awesome office, and that's an impressive collection of work at the bottom of her shell

I assume your dad's an older gentleman, correct? Their poison can kill an elderly person. Let spider out, dad dies, you take over company,???????, profit

you do, just the tissue that has already died tho

I'll bet the immediate area smells like a hot pile of compost.

Maybe not that bad, but unpleasant.

For the elderly and babies, it can. But for most, I think you'll get sick and need to get looked at.

The clamshell needs a 24/day live video feed.

We could have a TMB pool for that awful day when all of those baby widows hatch.

We gathered briefly to discuss how we will feed the babies. Tentative plan is to create a hatch that we can open and then close after funneling other spiders/food into the shell.. My main concern is how many babies will escape each time we open the hatch. The mother is on high alert right now, though, they put another spider in there and she went fucking bananas on him when he came near her egg. He's dead and now part of that pile.

My dad is only 51, so I don't know what kind of danger he is in, but he's definitely close to ground zero. I'll use some sort of age joke against him tomorrow in our meeting, though.

You should make a poll to let us decide what she kills next

Well, I don't know, because what if something kills her? What happens to the babies?

Does she need to be involved in their lives or how do spiders work?

Won't the babies just crawl through the vents? Or are you hatching the vents?

just want to say this is the best thread TMB has had in a long time

Sooo, there are only three of us in the office... My dad, who is scared of spiders, the girl they always fuck with, and myself...

Dad walks in and says he's going to kill the spider... I say, "come on, man, he'll be pissed..."

He says, "Can you imagine what will happen when they hatch? It's going to be like fucking..... SNAKES ON A PLANE IN HERE!"

Problem is, he can't find the god damn thing. He looked through the guy's desk and all around. We're thinking he took it home.

http://www.orkin.com/other/spiders/baby-black-widow-spider

So I guess they go airborne?

PAC 12! PAC 12! PAC 12! PAC 12!

This must be the most unproductive workplace of all time due to these spiders.

Sooo, when it says they are carried to new locations... Is there like a foot, yard, mile, county limit on how far they can go?

What is, "Right into your fucking office," Alex

FWIW, I was going to bring my puppy up with me to work this week, but there's no fucking way I'm bringing her up here while that spider is alive and there's the potential for her to have babies at any moment...

http://ednieuw.home.xs4all.nl/Spiders/InfoNed/webthread.html

Get a few pieces of screen off of a window/patio
Tape pieces of screen over holes
Raise babies

DEATH FROM ABOVE

This thread has made me a big fan of Bruinshocker

http://noah.coccaro.com/widow/widow.html

This guy seems like a good resource on how to "raise" black widows.

that website says the women can store sperm for a long time. Good bet that your death machine was pregnant when you found her.

Yeah, a guy in the office read that they can store sperm for up to two years or some shit... Second guy (from the story) yelled out, ENTRAPMENT!!!, and we all shared a good chuckle.

In all, the egg was a pretty big distraction today, but that's pretty big fucking news on a Tuesday in the produce world.... It has come to the point where buyers will ask the sales guys how the spiders did over the weekend, so I feel like the babies will be pretty distracting for the next month or so.

Fantastic thread. Hate spiders, but can't wait to see what happens next.

My sentiments exactly.

witty

Dude

You might consider lining the bottom of the clam shell with baking soda, talcum powder or lime. This way when the spider kids scurry away you can track their little footprints across the office. Maybe.

That's a pretty fucking good setup to have.

Now that I'm not at work, have a fucking coworker who hijacks conversations and makes it about whatever bullshit they start talking about, like that wall o' text post I dropped this afternoon, was changing pronouns but was paraphrasing the bullshit she was saying. Most goddamn annoying thing ever.

wat

Would be awesome if you could set up a webcam and share death matches with TMB, as well as the inevitable hatching.

Roll tide

I think we need to spray some water in there at some point. I'll bring this up tomorrow.

I'll see if they can send me a video or ill get a lot of pics and videos when they hatch.

Think my dad knows he will lose the whole office if he kills the spider, so he has no choice but see how this plays out. We are all in this together at this point.

Really need to find a system of securing the vents.

We will address the vents tomorrow. We kind of had a lot on our plates today with the egg appearing and her killing the fuck out of that other spider. I definitely think the holes in the shell is one of the first things we need to figure out. It also seems like it would be best for it to be in a humid area, so we will have to solve that as well.

http://www.amazon.com/Acrylic-Scree...1?s=home-garden&ie=UTF8&qid=1315967687&sr=1-1

This ends one of two ways:

1) terribly for everyone at the office, and great for TMB

or

2) the spider dies/is removed


I know which one I'm rooting for. There is no chance that those baby spiders hatch and don't cause hilarity.

Perfect, and they can expense it to the company as well.

Am now watching this thread.

I know cock fighting and dog fighting are illegal acts. Has spider fighting been spoken on by congress?