stupid shit you see on ESPN

Does anyone know how those people got ESPN cameras in their house for the game Monday night? They didn't seem excited at all so I figured it was just pre-shot clips they do.

 

rece davis sucks ass

 

thanks og

 

Arkadin

 

on sportscenter they were just showing highlights of the mizzou game. they said mizzou's phil pressey is the sec's johnny manziel but only on the hardwood

 

Didn't Rece Davis do that gay shit where he dresses up like a judge and hands down "rulings?"

one of the worst things ESPN has ever done IMO

 

The voice of Rece Davis annoys me like no other. I would rather hear the death rattle of my only child.

 

well this certainly seems to be a little bit extreme.

 

I probably won't mean it once I actually have kids.

 

Rece Davis sucks. He may have been good at one point but he has been espnized.

 

Good chance this has been said, but I'm behind in here and annoyed enough to say again:

There's an article on the front page of espn right now about AJ McCarron's girlfriend. Don't get me wrong, she's fine, but in the article is this quote.

And it goes on to talk about her twitter for a few more paragraphs. Great reporting, espn

 

Completely agree

 

Jimmy Dykes was pushing that narrative the entire game. Was annoying as fuck.

Looks like ESPN has their new Tebow.

 

The whole "reese's half time report-isn't it always..." thing was so annoying. We get it Rece, it's a play on words.

 

Double whammy because there's a Tebow tidbit on the scroll

 

Actually surprised the question somehow didn't involve Tebow

 

Good god, what does that ticker even say? It's like they are using every day in the off season to recap a day of his during the season.

 

Idk who that chick is but she is really fine.

 

This is on the front page of ESPN.com

http://espn.go.com/golf/story/_/id/8830096/annika-sorenstam-cuts-part-finger-cooking

 

"She was doing her thing in the kitchen, which she does every night"

Well at least she knows

 

Rough couple weeks for Jay Culter. Missed the playoffs and caused RGIII's injury.

Get it together Jay.

 

Womens Basketball? Or was that said already? If not, after 36 pages, shame on you all.

 

im so confused, how on earth could jay cutler caused RGIII's injury

 

I believe they are referencing the playoff game in which Jay Cutler was injured and was removed from the game. There was a lot of controversy that he should have stayed in the game and sucked it up as the Bears lost.

RGIII stayed in the game and EPSN is implying that RGIII/Shanahan's decision was affected by the Jay Cutler blowback. At least that's all I can piece together. Definitely a stupid topic even by ESPN standards.

 

One good thing they've done is bring back Bill Walton to do late night pac-12 games.

 

Hoping this is sarcasm. Bill Walton is one of my least favorite announcers in the known world.

 

Bill Walton is awesome.

 

No he is in fact terrible.

 

Walton's sarcastic hyperbole is great, especially when he used to do the color for the Clippers when Michael Olowokandi was playing. Some hilarious quotes have come from him:

Spoiler

- “Shaq’s arrogance is an insult to people who think.”

- “Tracy McGrady is doing things we’ve never seen from anybody – from any planet!”

- “Mick Jagger is in better shape than far too many NBA players. It’s up in the air whether the same can be said of Keith Richards.”

- “Show some respect to this living legend, this hall of famer…Arvydas Sabonis.”

- “The only way Danny Schayes is getting into the hall of fame is if he pays the $5.99 admission fee.”

- “When I think of Boris Diaw, I think of Beethoven in the age of the romantics.”

- “If Eric Piatkowski continues playing at this level, he’s going to replace Jerry West on the NBA logo.”

- “That was one of the worst passes I’ve ever seen, and certainly the worst pass in the history of the San Antonio Spurs.”

- “Cuttino Mobley has just made the two worst shot attempts in the history of this proud Houston Rockets franchise.”

- “Come on, that was no foul! It may be a violation of all the basic rules of human decency, but it’s not a foul.”

- “Yesterday we celebrated Sir Isaac Newton’s discovery of gravity, today, Fabricio Oberto is defying it.”

- On Rasheed Wallace: “He’s like a four-armed Dikembe Mutombo around the basket!”

- “But you have to understand, my beard is so nasty. I mean, it’s the only beard in the history of Western civilization that makes Bob Dylan’s beard look good.”

- Exchange between Bill and Tom Hammond: “John Stockton is one of the true marvels, not just of basketball, or in America, but in the history of Western Civilization!” Tom: “Wow, that’s a pretty strong statement. I guess I don’t have a good handle on world history.” Bill: “Well Tom, that’s because you didn’t go to UCLA.”

- “Patrick Ewing used to be much better in every aspect of the game.”

- “Tonight the Spurs look to extend their lead to 3-0 over the Lakers. This time, however, they will have to do it on the Lakers’ home court. Duncan and Shaq have been magnificent for both teams, but so far the edge has gone to San Antonio. However, the real story line that awaits us tonight in Los Angeles is whether or not Kobe Bryant will actually throw a pass!”

- On Larry Johnson’s lackluster performance in the NBA Finals: “What a pathetic performance by this sad human being. This is a disgrace to the game of basketball and to the NBA. He played like a disgrace tonight. And he deserved it.”

- More Larry Johnson railing: “Why would the Pacers ever double-team Larry Johnson? He wants to be double-teamed so he can pass. Why is Indiana double-teaming a man who only scores 8 points a game?”

- “Memo to Paul Pierce and Antoine Walker: Couldn’t you wait until at least the All-Star break to have the franchise suffer its worse loss in its storied history? Bill Russell just called looking for an address to send his 11 championship rings back to the Celtics because he is so disappointed.”

- “This Portland team is nothing more than a band of pranksters.”

- “Hey i’m for anything that keeps Charlie Ward out the game”

- “Oylden Polynice, make a layup pleeeeeeeaaaaaasssseee!”

- “Shaq makes everyone else in the league look like Michel Tafoya.”

- Walton: “That has to be a foul.” Snapper: “Against who?” Walton: “Against the game of basketball.”

- “If they ever get this cloning thing right, we can only hope they duplicate the good guys. The last thing we need are more Shawn Bradley’s and Michael Olowokandi’s. Or more people with the attitude of Gary Payton or the confusion of George Karl.”

- “You look at Vladimir Radmanovic, this guy is cut from stone. As if Michelangelo was reading and a lightning bolt flashed before him.”

- “The art of tossing up the jump ball has really declined. These officials need to spend more time practicing in off-season.”

 

ok those were pretty funny.

 

all i can think of when i hear bill walton is him saying "GAG ME WITH A SPOON!"

someone please tell me that is something he actually said at one point in his life and i'm not insane

 

you may still be insane, but bill walton has said that on multiple occasions

 

I was talking to someone whos seen rachel nichols in peron, i guess she has a really ugly body, like pear shaped in a bad way and thats why you never see her bottom half. its hideous

 

How dare you destroy that misperception.

 

ESPN leads off with RG3 updates, a player on a team that's out of the playoffs. I turn to NFL Network, currently they are breaking down why Peyton Manning is so successful vs Baltimore with actual game tape, and ways Ray Lewis can combat Manning's techniques.

 

Not Bill Walton ‏@NotBillWalton
I hear Mike D'Antoni loves 'Django Unchained' because its all about shooting and the D is silent.
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Welp. She definitely looked better to me when I was younger

 

Yep, they've gone all in on RG3. I imagine we'll get an update once a week on his recovery during the offseason and it'll be sponsored by Coors Light or something.

 

Thread is on Google 1st page for espn shit and top of 2nd for espn stupid and #1 overall for espn stupid shit

 

Yeah, probably more like twice a day

 

Now that you mention it I realize I have yet to hear a single thing about the matchups this week after watching an episode of Sportscenter and a good deal of a NFL live episode. Just about forgot who was playing this weekend.

 

lol the comments section here is great

Cornelius McGillicuddy126​

What's the best part about getting oral sex?

Ten minutes of silence

 

Apparently Bill Walton is just getting back into broadcasting because he had extensive back surgery for chronic pain that had him basically on bed rest and contemplating suicide. There was an article in SI or ESPN recently about him.

 

If you google "Rachel Nichols fat", this is the first result:

http://www.the-mainboard.com/index....achel-nichols-get-those-thunder-thighs.68723/